


Still Beating

by StarfleetWitch



Category: Holby City
Genre: Angst, Crime, F/F, Kidnapping, That really dark fic legit NO ONE asked for but my brain decided to spew out!, also drugged Bernie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-26
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2018-09-02 09:26:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 36,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8662192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarfleetWitch/pseuds/StarfleetWitch
Summary: This was posted over on Fanfiction.net but at long last, I finally got my invitation to AO3 so I'm posting it here too ^.^Set During 'Life in the Freezer'. When Serena leaves the hospital that evening, a series of unfortunate events occur plunging both her and Bernie into potentially fatal danger. 'Remember I said life was funny? Well strange how one day can make or break your life… one day. '





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story came to me when I heard the song 'I cant take my eyes off you' by Avrutin and Charlie James a couple of weeks ago. It's a song that has more or less been associated with death and destruction where I come from because growing up it was the song used on all the old DOE road safety adverts (I'm talking the stuff of nightmares here! Their adverts were more graphic than those helicopter blades slicing people up on Casualty during the anniversary! AND THEY AIRED DURING THE DAY! Ahem… totally wasn't traumatised as a kid or anything)
> 
> Where was I…? OH YEAH! Enjoy... and please don't kill me.

Isn't it funny? This life. You spend your days doing the same boring thing. You get up, you make yourself presentable to the world, you eat and then you leave your sanctuary and go to work. You meet people, some new, some you already know, you do your best to get through yet another shift and then you come home, go to bed and await the next morning when you can get up and do it all over again. The same staccato beat never wavering from its steady monogamous rhythm.

Isn't it funny? You don't see it do you? Truth be told I didn't either… until she came along. I never noticed how dull my life had become as I danced to the same tune everyday, never noticing the time pass by… can you believe its been over a year since my mother died? Over a year since I drunkenly buried her ashes right outside this very hospital.

I may not have been in the army like she had… but I do understand the mind numbing nature of an endless routine.

For a while my world was grey… no colour penetrated my existence, had I noticed I may have done something about it but… I didn't. I simply didn't.

That's not to say my life hasn't been peppered with intermittent surprises, Jason being a prime example. For a moment, life felt exciting again when I met him. He was so new and yet familiar, breaking the endless cycle of steady beats to form a new rhythm. Even now the thought of us finding each other after not even knowing I had a sister brings a smile to my face. But that new feeling, that excitement quickly turned grey once more as he was absorbed into my routine and the rhythm slowed down and once again became a slow continuous beat.

Sounds boring doesn't it? Not at all funny I suppose… but then I never really meant that it was particularly humorous. Its funny… as in weird.

Back then I didn't realise it was boring or weird, so busy was I with simply living. But then something spectacular happened… or rather someone spectacular happened.

She came into my life with a crash and suddenly an explosion of colour erupted from every corner of my vision. It was overwhelming but also exhilarating and beautiful and I didn't want it to end! The boring staccato beat had been smashed and suddenly the rhythm became erratic and exciting like it had never been before.

The woman made me feel alive again! Breaking my routine and turning my world on its head in a glorious shower of colours I didn't even know I'd been missing... and then she kissed me… and then I kissed her back… and then my life lost all balance and the erratic beating completely stopped. And I was left in deafening silence.

I'd taken too long to come around; I knew I'd taken too long. Just as I'd caught my breath and steadied myself for this new adventure in my life, an adventure I'd be taking with the one person who broke my damaging routine, she shut it down. I'd taken too long to settle my thoughts and she'd lost patience.

'I think we should toast our undeniable sexual chemistry… and say no more about it'. I was so sure those words would be written on my grave… and then Tuesday happened.

Remember I said life was funny? Well strange how one day can make or break your life… one day.

It had started out so innocently, an offer that led to a kiss… and then things seemed to break down so suddenly. That was the day I realised that steady beating, that rhythm that was taking over my life, was in fact the beating of my own heart in my ears telling me I was safe. Her presence was a danger and I'd become too emotionally involved to notice. When the rhythm stopped, it wasn't that my heart had stopped beating; I was simply so far out of safety that it was screaming too loud for me to hear.

I don't know if the beating staccato has returned. I can't tell because suddenly there's another monogamous steady beat in my ear, one that echoes louder than mine ever did. Ironically, the steady beat means she's safe… but as she lies there in that hospital bed, hooked up to all manner of wires with bandages and dressings covering what little of her skin I can see, I cant help but feel like this is the most unsafe place I've ever been. I'm not an idiot, I realise saying that is a little heaving handed given where we were yesterday but… none the less, back there still felt safer than here.

Back there, I had the heavy thudding of my own heartbeat in my ear… I don't think my nerves can cope much longer with the fear that the beating of hers might disappear.


	2. Chapter 2

One Week Earlier

The day had started with a bang. Not a dramatic explosion or anything like that, but the simple bang of a cupboard door one floor down that Serena felt resonate through her very body. "Fuck you, Berenice Griselda Wolfe" Serena groaned as her delicate fingers came up to rub her head. "Ugh" Serena sighed, rolling her neck "Why did I drink so much last night?"

Blinking against the harsh light of the morning, Serena threw her legs over the side of the bed, her body aching; yet a smile played on her lips as she remembered the night before. Who knew something as simple as an innocent meal between two colleagues, who hadn't spoken properly in weeks because of their 'Sexual Chemistry' got the better of them, could put everything into perspective?

"Love" Serena tested "I love… Berenice Griselda Wolfe" Serena let the words hang in the air, waiting for the imminent destruction that would surely follow such a scandalous admission. A smile blossomed on her face in spite of her hang over and she giggled. The world didn't end, and the sun was still shinning in the sky "I love Bernie Wolfe!" She giggled to herself again.

Her giggles were soon forgotten as a pain shot through her head at the all too loud knock at the door, followed by her nephew's all too loud voice "Come on auntie Serena, your toast is getting cold!"

Serena clutched her aching head as she heard the footsteps retreat back down the stairs "Fuck you, Berenice Griselda Wolfe"

It wasn't until Serena had seen Bernie in Pulses that morning, their eyes catching each others gaze over Hansen's shoulder, that Serena decided today was the day. Today was the day she was going to tell Bernie how she felt. If what she'd seen in Bernie's eyes the night before as the alcohol flowed was true, then Bernie felt the same way about her. They were too old to be dancing around the subject if they were both feeling the same pull towards each other.

As she waited for Bernie to finish with Hansen, she carefully constructed a script in her head. In those few short minutes, she'd laid out exactly what she would say right up to them sealing the deal with another delicious kiss. God how she ached for Bernie to kiss her again. But then Bernie deviated from the script and she instead found herself holding a brochure that detailed the exact plot twist she didn't need screwing up her masterpiece of a speech.

The journey to AAU after that was the longest journey of her life. The minute they entered the lift, Serena kept her eyes glued to the brochure under the pretence of being enrapt in what it had to say. Really, she was trying to find a way to adapt her script. She needed to let Bernie know now more than ever how she felt. She couldn't loose her to this.

From that point on, everything seemed like one big blur until she realised she was in their office, her lips moving against Bernie's with considerable gusto. Coming back to her senses, she smirked and stopped moving her lips. Bernie took a little longer to let go, almost as if the moment was fleeting and she didn't want it to end just yet.

"Sorry" She said breathlessly and couldn't help the smile that broke out across her features at Bernie reply. 'Weeks. She's been waiting weeks to do that!' yelled a voice in Serena's head.

So suddenly, she once again found herself out on the ward, her head spinning. Everything was moving so fast and in entirely the wrong order. 'Its ok' Serena thought to herself 'We'll just have to do this backwards! Kiss first and then tell her how I feel, I can still save this!'

Though she'd decided this, the day still went by with no one sticking to the rewritten scripts. She'd told Bernie she didn't want her to go, which was a start she supposed, but then Kathy Higson happened and suddenly Cryogenic stasis and helping a loving husband fulfil his promise to his dying wife took over and all focus was shifted. They'd literally been hands deep in the intestines of a stab wound patient and still; they only spoke of Kathy Higson.

Serena's mind was reeling. She just needed 5 minutes! 5 Minutes to get her head together and talk to Bernie about her feelings. Those 5 minutes came unexpectedly and Serena found that she was wholly unprepared, dropping herself in the deep end by stuttering out something about Jason not being home tonight.

Serena held her breath as she waited for Bernie's reply. She wanted to talk about her feelings, not insinuate that she wanted to fall into bed immediately after 2 kisses and weeks of not really talking. Did she want to? She wasn't usually that type of woman but she did have to admit, Bernie made her feel things she'd never experienced before with the previous men in her life. She supposed Robbie was fun but he was more of an entertaining itch scratcher than anything else.

"Dinner?" came Bernie's quiet response and Serena could have fallen to her knees there and then with relief.

"Tonight?" she answered. 'Tonight would be a good time to talk, Bernie doesn't have to make her decision immediately, we could talk tonight! This could still work!' Serena thought happily.

"My place?"

'No NONONONONONO!' screamed Serena's mind 'No you cant go to her place! You wont be able to concentrate if there's a bed in such close proximity! No! Suggest a restaurant! You don't want to scare her off! SAY SOMETHING!'

"Ok" she smiled 'Fuck!' "I err… better go and find Hansen" 'Yes RUN! Before you say something else!"

Pushing out through the door, Serena paused in the hallway to take a deep breath before moving to walk down the hall towards the lifts.

"Wait!" Serena stopped and turned around to see a man clambering down the hall towards her "wait" he said once more, breathless, as he came to stop in front of her "You saved him, didn't you?"

"Erm… sorry who are you?" Serena questioned, wary about giving out information about a patient, especially one that could possibly be involved in a physical assault case.

"Sorry, my name is Simon! I'm a friend of Tom, the man you just saved?" Serena nodded, not willing to give anything away "Thank you oh thank you! How can I possibly repay you for saving him?"

Serena's concentration was momentarily stunted as the door behind her opened and Bernie came out, files still in hand "yes well its all in a days work, besides, it's the Major you should be thanking!" She nervously chuckled, desperate to get away.

Bernie's head shot up at the title and formalities "Major?" the man questioned in astonishment before fixing his entire focus on the blonde "Thank you" he said breathlessly "You are so talented! Thank you so much for saving him!" he gushed.

Bernie made eye contact with Serena in a silent plea for help. Serena however merely smirked and winked back at her before making her way down the hall to the lifts, leaving the other woman to her adoring fan.

The time it took for her to meet with legal was all the time Serena needed to get the idea of her and Bernie having dinner that night to settle comfortably in her head. 'This is it' she thought with a smile 'this the start of a new chapter in my life, a better chapter'.

The smile on her face only grew wider by Berenice Wolfe performing a feat of humanity and defying death just to make her feel better. Standing in that loading bay as they watched the truck move off with the Higsons, she realised she hadn't felt this happy in a long time. This moment here and now, as she stood in the draughty crevice gazing into Bernie's face, was a moment she was sure she'd never forget. She felt drunk on love and couldn't help the words that slipped from her mouth.

It wasn't until later that evening as she sat crying in her office did she realise what damage that deviation from the script had caused.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid idiot!" she murmured angrily as she beat her head against the knuckle of her thumb. Sniffing, she gazed across at the empty desk opposite from her. With a sinking feeling, she realised that that empty desk would serve as symbolism for her abandonment until Bernie served out her time on the secondment.

"Fuck you, Bernice Griselda Wolfe"


	3. Chapter 3

Leaving the hospital that evening, Serena kept her head low. She was too emotionally drained to acknowledge the porters and nurses who stared at her with hushed whispers on their tongues. No doubt news of Bernie's dramatic departure had spread like wild fire within an hour of her leaving.

"Yes Jason, I know I'm late… Yes Jason… y-y-yes… ok I'll be home soon… sorry" Serena hit the end call button on her phone and let out a heavy sigh as she dropped the phone into her bag. This day honestly couldn't get any worse.

Pulling her coat tightly around her, Serena crossed the car park. She was vaguely aware of rapid footfalls behind her but only fully acknowledged them when a voice yelled her name. Turning, she was met with the sight of Bernie running across the road towards her. Rolling her eyes, she quickly decided she didn't have the energy for this either, turned, and continued her journey towards her car.

"Serena wait!" The voice sounded desperate, but still Serena did not turn.

"Shouldn't you be packing?" Serena spat, anger heating her entire body.

"Serena…" Bernie said breathlessly as she came to stop beside the brunette "Serena I'm so sorry…"

"I don't want to hear it, Ms Wolfe" she cut in, finally turning to the trauma surgeon "You've made your choice. Now if you don't mind, I have to get home to Jason"

Bernie reached out a hand to stop her leaving but Serena shrugged it off and made to move past her "Serena, wait" Serena stopped at the sound of the broken voice, her back once again facing the blonde "I did make my choice. But…"

"Please please! I need help! She can't breathe!" pleaded a rough voice as their hands desperately grabbed at Bernie's arms from behind. Serena turned then and briefly made eye contact with Bernie before rushing off on instinct towards where the man was gesturing, their doctor's masks firmly in place.

Bernie reached the vehicle first, the side door of the van flying open upon her arrival. Looking inside though, she found the van to be empty. Frowning and turning back to the man, she suddenly felt herself pulled backwards into the van by two strong arms. She'd barely registered awkwardly landing on her side before she felt herself roughly dragged by the hair to knees. Adrenaline suddenly flooded her system and she swung her fists around and tried to pull herself from the assailant's grip, however painful it was to her scalp… and then she felt it. Her head was wrenched back exposing her neck. As her eyes met Serena's panicked ones, it was only as the needle went in that she realised the door was closed and they were moving.

"Serena…" she said breathlessly as the needle left her neck. Tears began to run down Serena's face as she thrashed, her mouth open as if she were screaming but no noise penetrated Bernie's ears. Bernie shook out of her stupor, my god, was she deaf? "What have you injected me with?!" She yelled it, she knew she had… and yet she couldn't even hear her own voice, just felt the vibrations rip through her throat.

"Bernie!" Serena cried, terror shaking her voice "What have you done to her?!" Her hands were wrenched around and she felt her wrists being bound together with duck tape.

"Fuck me, you didn't tell me there'd be two! I only had one dose!" The man holding Bernie spat "How the fuck are we gonna shut her up?!"

"Its fine… this one shouldn't put up too much of a fight, she's the one who's gonna be the problem" The man holding Serena threw the duck tape down and grabbed both their bags. Looking inside, he found their phones and handed them through to the front of the van.

Bernie's eyelids suddenly became hard to keep open under the weight of the heaviness clouding her mind. She let her arms drop to her side as her hair was released, unaware that her body was falling forward until the hard floor met the side of her face.

As Bernie's eyes stared unseeingly, she vaguely registered jerky movement at the corner of her vision and then two hands lifting her head to cradle it in their owners lap as best they could.

"Mmmm sssss-ss-ss…" She tried but her mind wouldn't focus on the words, why couldn't she hear herself?

The van hit a speed bump and her cushion was suddenly no longer beneath her, her head coming back down to instead crack against the floor of the van once more. This time the thud resonated through her skull and her hearing came back, noise blasting through her ears and causing her eyes to open wide at the shock.

"BERNIE! Get off me! BERNIE!" Serena broke free from the men's grip once again and crawled to cradle Bernie's head once again.

"S-Serena!" she said clearly "Serena you have to get out!" Serena looked down into Bernie's wide-open eyes, realising they still weren't focused.

Bernie began to hear a thrum echo in her head. The thrum began to panic her, she was going back, dear god she couldn't go back there. She had to get Serena out of here; Serena wouldn't survive where they were going.

"Serena, please…" Her voice trailed off, her mind fogging again "You have to get away, they'll kill you" With what little control she had over her limbs, she reached up and grabbed at Serena's shirt "we have to find the embassy…" Serena's brows knitted together in confusion as Bernie's words registered with her "They'll fly you back to England, Seren…a" her voice trailed off again as her eyes began to dart to seemingly random points in the van.

Serena's head shot up, tears blurring her vision, and met with those of the man who'd injected her.

"What did you do to her?"

He said nothing only smiled a dirty grin that chilled Serena to the bone.

"Its ok" Said an all too calm voice behind her. Turning her head, she realised it was coming from the front seat "She won't be harmed."

Serena's nostrils flared "How could you possibly know that?" she growled "You've just injected her with- with- GOD KNOWS WHAT!"

"She wont be harmed" he repeated, "She will however begin to hallucinate. Nothing bad, the drug is mostly used for pleasure, not pain" He let his words sink in, knowing exactly what kind of thoughts would be racing through the brunettes head.

"I wont let you fucking touch her!" She spat, tightening her grip on Bernie.

A rumble of deep chuckles left his mouth as he turned around, his sharp green eyes piercing right through Serena's "I'll give you one thing, you got fire in your blood, Ms…?"

This time Serena did physically spit at him.

He chuckled once again and turned back around in his seat "I like a woman with some fire in her. Your friends gonna have a rough come down from those drugs" He continued without pause "Best make sure you sort her out, fire lady. Wouldn't want her to under-perform when the time comes." Once again he paused his sentence, allowing all sorts of thoughts to invade Serena's head. He was determined to break her down and douse out that flame, she was useless to him anyway. Might as well have some fun.

Serena looked down to Bernie, her eyes still wide, as she began muttering to her self. A tear ran down Serena's face as her lip wobbled, she'd never felt fear like this. This didn't happen to people like her, this only happened to people who got involved with the wrong kind of people… or unfortunate children. This wasn't happening. They weren't being kidnapped! This was all just some nightmare, she'd wake up soon… she would!

Her panicked train of thought was broken and she lost her balance as the van came to a stop. The doors flew open and before she could even react, she was dragged from the van, her grip on Bernie lost as she fell from the step and onto the concrete.

Pulled to her feet once more, she risked a glance back at the van as she was physically walked towards a brick building. The men at the door of the van blocked her view, however with the shuffling that was going on, Bernie was clearly giving them some bother.

Turning her head back, she tried to pick out details that may be useful to her later should she regain access to a phone. She made out the beginnings of a sign before she was shoved trough a door and into a dark corridor.

She was guided down the hall until she came to a halt outside another door. Her captor opened the door and roughly shoved her inside as a series of shouts sounded from where she'd just came. The door slammed in Serena's face and she heard the tell tale sound of a lock clicking and heavy footfalls.

"Give them hell, Major Wolfe"


	4. Chapter 4

Silence permeated the cold sparsely furnished room. Her heart thudded in her chest as her mind focused intently on the faint shuffling on the other side of the door. After what seemed like hours, but was probably really only a few minutes, the door was pulled open and the men hurried in, arms gripped either side of a certain blonde's arms.

Serena's eyes trailed from the blondes duck tape bound hands to her face, horror draining the colour from her own at the manic expression she found there. There was blood spattered across her face, her eyes wide and unfocused as a wide toothy grin played on her lips. She looked almost possessed.

"That FUCKER broke my fucking nose!" Came a pained, nasally shout from outside the room. Bernie's head rolled in the direction of the noise, the grin becoming impossibly wider as a high pitched giggle, unlike any Serena had ever heard, left her mouth.

Footsteps grew closer with speed as the demonic laugh echoed through the corridor "That fucking bitch!"

Serena helplessly watched it all happen in impossibly slow motion. The guards swiftly released their grip on Bernie's arms as a man with blood running from his swelling nose ran at the blonde, knife at the ready. Bernie was vaguely aware of being pushed further into the room as the two men that escorted her here slammed the man with the knife backwards against the wall.

"Calm the fuck down, Akins! We fucking need this one, remember!" Spat one of the guards in the man with the knifes face.

"We'll get another! I'm gonna cut that bitch in two" he growled.

"Get him the FUCK out of here!" Yelled another man at the door.

As 'Akins' was man handled from the room, Serena's gaze moved to Bernie. The sight made stomach drop even further. Though not so toothy any more, Bernie's closed mouth still had a wide smile playing on it as she swayed on the spot, almost dancing.

As the men came back into the room, Serena's eyes were torn to the door once more. They approached Bernie as she continued to twirl on the spot like she didn't even know they were there. Just as they came to stand behind her, she suddenly stopped.

The smile dropped from her lips as she glared at the wall in front of her, her sudden mood change worrying Serena even more. Bernie slowly stretched her bound hands out in front of her and left them there for the longest second of Serena's life, before swiftly bringing her hands back to her body, her elbows gliding past her waist, the angle breaking the duck tape and freeing her hands.

In one fluid movement, she turned, her hand finding the back of one of the men's heads and she brought their face down to meet her knee on the way up. No sooner had he began to fall that she had already moved onto the next, her fist connecting with his face before being brought to his knees as Bernie's foot found his groin with brutal force. Another man approached but Bernie sidestepped him, her hand grabbing his arm as he passed, twisting it up behind his back and forcing her palm down hard on his shoulder blade. The crack echoed in the room as the man fell in pain, cradling his dislocated arm.

Bernie stood over the fallen men; a toothy smiled erupting onto her face once more as she angled her head to watch them with wide eyes.

Rough arms enclosed around Bernie and manic laughter left her mouth. The man holding her looked to the other at the door. Serena recognised him as the man who referred to her as 'Fire lady' in the van. He was leant against the doorframe with his arms folded and a smile playing on his lips.

Walking into the room towards Bernie, he chuckled to himself "3 men in the space of 3 seconds?" he whistled, "After all this is over, I could use a girl like her! Lets hope she makes as good a doctor as she does a fighter, eh?" Taking a fist full of Bernie's hair, he wrenched her head to the side and shoved another needle into her neck.

Serena jumped forward. She didn't know what she could do to save Bernie but if she was honest, she wasn't thinking. She just knew she had to stop them harming her more than they already had. Arms quickly grabbed reached out at her own and held her back "No! Stop it, what have you given her, you bastard?!"

"Now now, no need for language like that"

The laughter from Bernie suddenly stopped. Serena's eyes moved to Bernie's face. The smile was gone and she seemed almost breathless. If Serena weren't very much mistaken, she'd have said there were tears in her eyes.

Struggling against her captor and the duck tape, Serena never took her eyes off Bernie "Bernie. Bernie are you alright?!"

"Even if she could hear you, I doubt she'd respond"

Serena glared at the man. Now that she'd properly focused on his face, she found she recognised him from somewhere "Why have you brought us here? Why do you need us?" She growled.

He peered at her thoughtfully "We brought her here because we needed a surgeon" he said, jerking his shoulder in Bernie's direction. "You were an unfortunate extra, however… if you prove useful, we may keep you alive"

Panic began to rise in Serena once more as tears pricked her eyes.

"You may not have noticed, but we've been watching you. A new trauma unit with so much success doesn't just go un-noticed. She's quite talented and right now… we need that talent. There's a war coming, Fire lady… one I intend to win." He nodded to the man holding Bernie and he abruptly let her go. She immediately fell against the wall and sunk down onto her knees. He walked over to Bernie and knelt down beside her, his hand trailing over her soft blood stained cheek to reveal the heavy bruising blossoming beneath "No war is won without its soldiers and soldiers need medics, what luck that we came across a real army medic, eh?"

He quickly stood back up and turned back to Serena "Its your choice whether she helps us win alone or not."

"And if I refuse?" She said defiantly, trying to keep her voice steady.

He laughed as his gaze moved above her head. He reached down into his hoodie pocket to retrieve a handful of papers. Lowering his eyes to her once more, his expression became deadly serious. "Then you'll join the others"

He threw the papers at Serena, her hands instinctively coming up to shield her face. The arms that held her back let go and she felt cold metal slip between her wrists. It wasn't until she heard footsteps that she realised she was unbound, the duck tape slit.

"When I said earlier that she wouldn't be harmed I meant it. The drug was supposed to make her easier to deal with…" Serena froze "You see, normally people enter into a heightened state of euphoria by now… unless your friend has violent tendencies, I'd say we've been betrayed by some bastard down in the labs. No matter, I've administered an antidote, however, if we have been betrayed, who knows if it's really an antidote" He said with a gleam in his eye. "Keep her alive will you?" With that, the door slammed once again. She opened her eyes; her gaze immediately falling to the prone figure of Bernie slumped against the wall.

Sighing, she looked down to the small images now scatted at her feet. Her stomach suddenly lurched and she threw her hands to her mouth in an attempt not to be sick. There, in the pictures, were men and women, some in scrubs, lying motionless in some state of mutilation. They murdered them and took photographs of their corpses, those sick bastards!

Tears burned Serena's eyes as she back up against the wall and slid down until her knees were drawn tight to her chest. What was she going to do? She couldn't leave Elenor and Jason alone in the world, not yet. Tears fell hot and fast now as her eyes slowly trailed up the floor to land on Bernie. How was she to know that the worst was yet to come?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just an FYI! If you find yourself in the situation where you're having your wrists duck taped, if you keep the inside of your wrists flat against each other when being tied and use Bernie's method of swiftly bringing your wrists back to your body with your elbows gliding past your waist on either side, the angle 'should' actually tear the duck tape. Or so I've been led to believe by one of the guys who taught me european sword combat.


	5. Chapter 5

Heavy breathing permeated the stark silence of the room. Bernie raised her head to look at Serena sitting against the wall in front of her, aware that it was in fact her breathing that was echoing off the walls.

“S-sserena?” she slurred, trying her damndest to focus her eyes. 

Serena’s head shot up to look at the other woman. “Bernie?” she said breathlessly as tears continued to stream down her cheeks “Bernie, is it actually you?” 

Bernie smiled “l-last time I checked” Serena chuckled, her panic attack slowly receding at the answer.

She held Bernie’s gaze for a few moments longer, her breathing seemingly returning to normal of its own accord. It was only when Bernie broke the gaze that she remembered where they were “What are we going to do, Bernie?” 

Bernie frowned and pushed herself forward onto her hands and knees so she could crawl across the floor to Serena. Serena eyed her cautiously. As she came closer, Serena got a good look at her eyes. From where she sat, she could clearly see how blown Bernie’s pupils were and this worried her. “Bernie?” she began as she slowly pushed herself up from her seated position, her mind still very much aware of how quickly and easily the woman had reduced 3 thugs to their knees “do you know where we are?” 

Bernie stopped dead in the centre of the room, her face telling Serena that she was clearly thinking about her question. Bernie’s brow furrowed as she drew her eyes up to meet Serena’s “do you?” she said, blinking a few times to try and clear her vision. She could hear thumping, who was thumping?

Serena reconciled that it was a bad question to ask considering she didn’t even know where they were. “Ok Bernie, do you remember what the hospital is called where you work?”

The thumping grew louder and louder in Bernie’s ears, almost drowning out Serena’s words. “Ser-ena I’m s-sorry about…” Her head began to roll from side to side as the thumping began to penetrate her head and vibrate inside her skull “what is that?” She moaned “Its getting louder, tell it to stop!” she clamped her hands over her ears but continued to roll her neck. 

Serena strained to hear what was offending the blonde. ‘She will however begin to hallucinate. Nothing bad, the drug is mostly used for pleasure, not pain’ echoed in her mind. Though a part of her wished it would, she knew logically no drug could have worn off in such a short period of time. Her thoughts were swiftly proven when Bernie’s head stopped rolling, her eyes snapping wide open as fear over took her soft features. 

Bernie’s eyes darted around the room, hands still clamped over her ears as she watched the walls burn from the top down. Looking down to where she sat on the ground, she was shocked to find herself knelt upon soft, warm sand. Taking one hand from her ear, the noise forgotten, she ran her hand through the powdery substance. Snapping her eyes back up to where Serena stood, she quickly became breathless as a world of dirt trek roads and shanty town-like shacks manifested itself around them through the swirling heat of the desert. 

Serena watched with mounting worry as Bernie’s gaze travelled around the room, her eyes seemingly seeing past the grubby walls that confined them.

“Bernie…” she began, cautiously taking a step towards her colleague “Bernie are you alright?”

“No” Bernie said, the word merely surfing upon her breath as it left her mouth. She shook her head “No it can’t be…” She wiped furiously at her eyes, the dust making them water and blurring her vision.

Serena slowly lowered herself to the floor so as not to startle the distressed blonde “Bernie, can you hear me? Tell me what you see” She needed to get Bernie back and without help, the only way to do that was to get her to focus on talking to her. At least she still acknowledged she was there.

“A street…” she whispered, tears building in her eyes “I’ve been here before” 

Bernie looked up at the sound of chatter and watched as people began to mill about the street she was knelt directly in the centre of. Bernie watched as merchants sold their wares and people, so unsuspecting and innocent, went about their day. For a moment, she calmed. A smile ghosted across her lips as children began to play near by. She could almost imagine her own children in their place; the innocents of children truly were universal until the poison of the adult world set in. 

“Bernie, keep describing what you see to me” Serena pushed, though Bernie had a smile on her face, she wasn’t willing to let her guard down to the unknown drugs running through her system. 

“There are children” she chuckled “Playing” a tear began to trail down Bernie’s cheek “they’re so innocent…” Bernie’s eyes drew back to the merchants and their costumers “All of these people… are innocent” She turned her head down “And we took it all away” tears began to run from her eyes as memories hit her like a freight train.

Serena, not knowing what else to do, simply rubbed Bernie’s back as she continued to probe the woman with questions to keep her talking “How? How did you take it away?” 

Bernie’s eyebrows drew together in frustration as the thumping sound returned to her ears, she hadn’t even realised it had stopped. She closed her eyes to the pain it caused in her head as it echoed once again against the inside of her skull.

“Bernie, talk to me” Serena pushed once more, wary of her sudden change in facial expression. “How did you take it away?” 

Bernie’s eyes shot open and she jerked her head up to see a child stood directly in front of her, his wide eyes starring at something in the distance behind her. She recognised his face, but from where? Where had she seen him before? 

Reaching a hand out to touch his young face, flashbacks began to invade her sight. Each scene violently slamming into her with little remorse. She’d found him, barely breathing, under a collapsed roof, amongst the rubble. She then watched as his broken body was removed from the wreckage, his whimpering, dear god, his nasally whimpering… shed never forget it. Blood began to gush from his mouth as his body fought against his internal injuries. She fought to keep him alive but ultimately, she’d failed. This was a child of 8, no older than her own son, and there was nothing she could do for him. It wasn’t even his fault that this had happened! “No” Bernie said in a broken voice.

“No?” Serena questioned.

“NO!” she shouted, her fists connecting with the cold concrete beneath her. Serena flinched and give serious thought to distancing herself should the blonde become more violent.

“Bern, he’s gone. There’s nothing you can do for him” Said a familiar voice. 

Bernie looked up to see Alex’s face looking back at her “BULL SHIT!” Alex looked back at her with a serious face, it was then that Bernie realised “He’s just another body to you, isn’t he?” Tears streamed down her face as she looked up into Alex’s eyes as the sun beat down upon them “ISNT HE?!” 

“Ma’am, this isn’t the time or the place. With all due respect, I suggest you get your head in the game”

“Game?” She snorted, who did this fresh out of the womb Second Lieutenant think she was “THIS IS NOT A GAME, DAWSON! THIS IS PEOPLES LIVES!” 

Serena attempted to shuffle away from Bernie but stopped when she started shouting. Frozen to the spot, she watched as the woman argued. She could only assume without context that she’d lost a patient of some sort down the line, whether it was in the army or in a hospital. There was too much guilt marring the woman’s features for her not to have been directly involved.

“You wouldn’t understand, Alex” the blonde whispered harshly to the empty air around them “You’re not a mother” Serena threw her hand over her mouth, dear god please say she didn’t loose a child.

Bernie flinched as an unknown force from inside her shook her body. Swaying where she still knelt in the sand, she looked up from her blood soaked uniform to find herself back in that calm street. Looking around though, she knew something was wrong. 

“Bernie?” Serena tried again, the sudden silence in the dim, dank room threatening to suffocate her. She’d been sitting; eerily frozen in place, for far longer than Serena was comfortable with. Yes, she seemed calm, but more often than not, the calmness was the reprieve before a storm. “What can you see?”

“They’ve all stopped.” Bernie murmured back.

“Stopped? Stopped what?” She asked, once again getting closer to Bernie.

Bernie looked around her “Just… stopped” she said absentmindedly as her eyes trailed over each face, all-facing in one direction. Following their line of sight, Bernie turned around where she sat and looked to the sky behind her.

Serena leaned back as Bernie turned to face her, the words ‘violent tendencies’ constantly repeating themselves in her mind. She cursed herself for being stupid; Bernie didn’t have violent tendencies… but then again... “B-Bernie…” She began once more, shakily “wh-what can you see?”

Serena physically jumped back from Bernie as blown pupils moved to stare directly at her “We’re going to die” she whispered, her mouth forming a toothy grin as tears rolled down her cheeks.

Serena’s blood ran cold. That was the expression she wore earlier… no, Bernie wouldn’t hurt her like that! Emotionally, the woman was a disaster area lately, but no… she wouldn’t physically hurt her… would she? 

Serena crawled a little further backwards, the movement seeming to trigger something in Bernie as her eyes immediately zipped to somewhere above her head again. Realisation seemed to dawn on Bernie as her face crumpled from its grin and an air of panic over took her.

“Oh no…” she said hoarsely.

A dull thrumming sound began to accompany the heavy thumping that seemed to be getting louder. Bernie once again shut her eyes to the sight of planes in the distance and clapped her hands over her ears. 

“Bernie” Serena said softly.

“MAJOR!” yelled a rougher female’s voice, the word ripping from her throat in desperation.

Bernie heard them both at once. The rough nature of Alex’s shout droning out the softness of Serena’s tender voice. Her eyes shot open, her breathing erratic. She looked up to Serena stood over her, her sight swimming as Serena’s delicate features blurred out of view and became the sharp edges of Alex. 

“MAJOR, CAN YOU HEAR ME?!” 

“A-A-Alex?” Bernie offered weakly, confused. Where’d Serena go?

“Bern!” Alex cried. It was then that Bernie realised she was upside down, still strapped into the drivers seat. Bernie looked around her, her unfocussed mind taking in the reds and pinks of the flowers that dared to stand proudly through the broken glass and fractured metal of the vehicle. 

“Bern, come on please, WAKE UP!” Alex cried, desperately. 

Bernie felt fingers on her. She looked to Alex, confusion marring her features “But I am awake” She said, head swimming as fingers continued to grab at her. She looked around once more and caught sight of a single poppy standing over Alex’s shoulder, the most beautiful shade of red she’d ever seen. She chucked to herself “Reminds me of Serena” she said happily to herself.

The smile quickly dropped from her face as the thumping and thrumming made its self the focus of her attention once more, the vibrations in her head churning her stomach. The world around her seemed to spin on its axis and the fingers clutching her shoulders became almost painful to her. She looked up to tell Alex to stop but just as she caught sight of her grey eyes, her face grew less angular.

“BERENICE GRISELDA WOLFE! YOU WAKE UP THIS INSTANT! YOU ARE NOT LEAVING ME HERE!” came Serena’s frantic cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm afraid I won't be able to update this until possibly Monday. Don't blame me, blame the social convention of going to work to earn a living ;)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is late! But here is is at last. ^_^ 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who give me kudos or reviewed! It absolutely means the world to me! ^_^

Serena was ready to faint. It seemed like a lifetime ago to her since Bernie’s eyes closed, her body becoming slack and hitting the floor with a dull thud. In reality, a mere 10 seconds had passed, but to Serena’s tired and traumatised mind, her shaking fingers desperately searching for a pulse felt like years. 

She was a doctor damn it! She had been a doctor for more years than she’d dare to count, and yet here she was fumbling like a nervous F1, her desperation clouding her judgement. Maybe the pulse point was here? No that can’t be right, further down? At one point, she was so certain Bernie was dead that her mind convinced her that was the reason she couldn’t find anything. 

But no! Bernie couldn’t die! They had unfinished business and who ever heard of a fairy tale where one of the lovers dies, drugged up on god knows what whilst the other watches! She’d rather watch her fly to Ukraine and never see her again than this hell! 

Finally a ray of light penetrated Serena’s darkness as her fingers grazed over a slow steady beat. She let out a puff of air “Thank god” She sighed, her head coming down to rest on Bernie’s chest “Thank Christ”

“Alright, I’m not that saintly” came a faint voice above her.

Serena looked up into Bernie’s face, eyes still closed. Distrust immediately took hold of her body and she pushed herself up onto her knees. She didn’t know how long they’d been here, could be hours for all she cared, but she wasn’t going to fall for that again. No matter how long they’d been here, she wanted hard evidence before she’d believe the drugs effects had finally worn off. 

Bernie took a moment to settle her thoughts, swallowing thickly against the bile rising in her throat. She then opened her eyes, immediately shutting them again when the harsh sun beat down upon her “no” she said brokenly, realising she was still there on that damn street. 

Her mind was clearer, at least, it felt clearer. None of this made sense. She had been here before, yes, but after… never before the… “Shit!” Bernie gasped, her eyes springing open as she sat up quickly. She immediately regretted her decision as her head span and her stomach threatened to empty its contents onto the dirt below her. 

“Bernie” it wasn’t a question… it was just a sad acknowledgement that the Bernie she knew still wasn’t here to help her. 

Bernie shook off the feeling; there was no time to be sick. She looked up into the sky once more, terror striking her to the core. The planes were closer! They were practically over head! She was out of time. 

Bernie clutched her head. There it was again, that damn thumping! 

Serena placed a cautious hand on her shoulder, what else could she do? If the woman was still hallucinating, the only thing she could do was comfort her. ‘That’s a lie’ she told herself. ‘If our roles were reversed, Bernie would know what to do. She wouldn’t be sat here scarred out of her wits!’ 

All thoughts of her inadequacies left her mind though as a loud ‘GET DOWN!” sounded before she felt her body pushed to the ground with considerable force and a body land on top of hers. 

Bernie held on tight to Serena as the tell-tale squeal of bombs being released sounded from overhead. She counted down the seconds until the bombs would hit, all the while, taking in the terrified screaming and scrambling from the people all around them. Rationally, she knew their minds weren’t thinking straight, but some dark part of her thought ‘what are they running for? It’s too late to do anything about it’.

And then it happened. All at once, the sound was taken from her, her body jerking violently as though her eardrums were physically ripped from her head. She looked up to see the world almost in slow motion. 

Buildings shredded to pieces mid-flight as flame erupted beneath the flying shrapnel. In spite of her now silent world, the echoes of the people’s terrified screams still echoed loud and clear. Children crying out for their mothers, probably already dead or dying somewhere. 

Bernie curled her body around Serena as more explosions hit the street, metal and wood flying over their heads. Though she knew it to be futile, she had to do something to protect her. 

Serena felt arms impossibly tighten around her protectively; the blonde’s body trembling above her as though it were being physically shook by some unknown force. Serena knew she wouldn’t be able to remove herself from the situation without somehow damaging the woman above her so she simply rubbed her back, hoping that some part of Bernie would register the comforting gesture. 

Bernie raised her head from the crook of Serena’s neck and looked directly into her eyes as the world burned around them. Tears streamed down her cheeks as brown eyes looked back at her with such sympathy. How was she not scarred? They were about to die and she wasn’t even scarred. “I’m so sorry Serena” she gasped, smoke filling her lungs “I’m so so sorry” She lowered her head once again to Serena’s neck “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you” 

Serena’s eyes began to water, what must she be seeing? She tightened her arms around Bernie and brought her cheek down to rest against the woman’s head “Its ok, its ok…” she whispered against her hair as she began to rock back and forth “we’re safe, we’re ok” ‘god. To think she would have been going through this alone if those bastards hadn’t have taken me too’ she thought darkly.

Bernie began to cough, the smoke was so thick now “I’m so sorry I was going to leave” she whimpered, the heat blasting at her back “I shouldn’t have even considered Kiev” Sweat began to drip down her face, she was so warm. 

An explosion sounded up ahead and Serena felt Bernie’s entire body jump in fear. It was at this point that she registered the heavy thudding of Bernie’s heart against her skin. Jesus the woman was going to have a heart attack if she didn’t calm down.

“Bernie?” she said into Bernie’s ear but Bernie didn’t respond “Bernie I need you to take a deep breath and calm down, ok?” still no response. For a moment, Serena began to believe the woman may have passed out again, but then a whimper came from the other woman and she raised her head to meet Serena’s eyes again.

Bernie looked deep into the depths of Serena’s soul, her watery eyes telling Serena everything she needed to know about what the woman was going through. Once again she tried to speak, however it became clear that Bernie couldn’t understand her when her eyes flicked down to her lips, a furrow of confusion creasing her brow. 

Serena stopped talking and simply began to rub the woman’s back again. She was so fragile and vulnerable right now. She vowed then and there that she’d break the nose of the man who did this to her. 

“Serena, I know I have no right but…” Everything went deathly still. Bombs stopped exploding, objects stopped flying overhead, the ash hung suspended in the air like a frozen snow scene “I lo-” she never finished her sentence. All at once everything crashed around her, her body flying off Serena’s as the force of the blast pushed her onto her back.

Serena rushed to get up, her back’s protests forgotten, as Bernie writhed on the concrete beside her. Serena rushed to grab a hold of Bernie’s wrists as she began clawing at her own body as if to physically remove the skin beneath her clothing. “BERNIE!” Serena yelled, desperate to get her to stop. 

Bernie’s mind shut down, primal instincts kicking in. Her skin was burning her, she had to do something about it, she had to remove the burning skin! Frantically she tried once again to claw at herself but her hands were restrained. Panic took root in her brain and with all the strength she could muster, she brought her hands to her body and pushed away the assailant with enough force to make them let go, the vibrations of their body hitting the burning sand around them going right up her spine. 

Bernie’s back arched at the sensation before her nails once again began to tear at her clothing. Serena pushed herself up once again with more difficulty, the woman was dangerous in this state but to hell with her own safety, she needed to stop this beautiful woman from injuring herself. She made to grab at the woman’s wrists once more when a piercing scream suddenly replaced the heavy breathing. 

Bernie felt them, the flames. They were everywhere! Her skin was literally on fire, her skin turning black before her very eyes. Her nostrils flared as the stench of burning flesh met with the acrid smoke. Choking and spluttering, she once again dug her nails into her now black flesh, the burning rising with rapid succession up her body. Again, a scream tore from her throat and her body arched in protest to the torture.

“B-BURNING!” she cried.

Serena jumped to her feet and ran to the door, banging and crying out for help. She turned to look once again at the prone blonde, blood running down her arms from the clawing, her blouse half open revealing more weeping wounds. 

And then her blood ran cold and her heart shattered.

Bernie reached her bloodied hands into her hair and fisted her hands up so tight Serena could practically feel the pain on her own scalp. Her body then arched painfully, her entire weight suspended in the air by the heels of her feet and the back of her head. A drawn-out scream ripped through the air for the longest five seconds Serena’s life before the body went limp and fell back to the floor with a grotesque thud. 

Serena almost predicted what would happen next before it even happened. Tearing her coat from her shoulders, Serena rushed over and placed the rolled-up fabric under Bernie’s head as her body went into convulsions. She turned Bernie onto her side and instinctively began counting. 

Suddenly everything seemed so quiet. Bernie had stopped shaking but she had yet to wake up. Though Serena kept an eye on her vital signs, she couldn’t be sure that the woman would be ok. The men had eventually answered the door but it was too late, Bernie was already out of her fit. She’d pleaded with them that she needed to be taken to the hospital but they refused, throwing a bucket with a first aid kit in it and a blanket at her instead. 

This was all about 45 minutes ago. In that time, she was too emotionally drained to do much more than throw her coat on the wooden cot by the wall, drag Bernie’s lifeless body over onto it and cover her with the blanket. She then knelt on the floor beside the cot and simply watched Bernie sleep. 

She couldn’t even cry at this point. All that ran through her head was Jason and Elinore and the possibility that the woman she still loved may never open her eyes again.


	7. Chapter 7

Bernie slowly became aware of her body laid down upon a hard surface. Too exhausted to move, she simply stayed like that until she became conscious of the pounding in her head and the clamminess of her skin. 

Pain. She also felt pain. On the side of her face, on her arms, her back, her legs, her throat. She couldn’t pin point a place she didn’t feel pain. ‘Dear god, is this what it feels like to die?’ she questioned. 

Heat began to rise through her body of its own accord, a wave of nausea following it. Squeezing her eyes tight at the sensation, her mouth began to water. Dear god! She was going to be…

Quickly pushing herself up onto her elbows, she suddenly found her hair pulled back and her face in a bucket as she gagged and wretched. Thick green bile left her body faster than she was able to take in breath, but just as she felt herself about to faint, it stopped. Gasping for air, she then became aware of a hand rubbing soothing circles on her back.

Bernie flinched and bolted upright, immediately regretting doing so as a wave of dizziness hit her, causing the bile to rise once more to her throat. In a bid not to be sick, she screwed her eyes shut and took a few deep breaths before opening them again. She focused her gaze on the strong hand holding the bucket in front of her. 

She slowly trailed her gaze up the hand’s arm to meet two tired looking, puffy brown eyes, each one wide and afraid. 

“Serena?” Bernie tried, her voice hoarse and her throat aching. The vibration from her voice alone was enough to make her clutch her head in pain “what happened? Ugh. What did I drink last night? I feel like I’ve been hit with a freight train”

“Bernie, what’s the last thing you remember?” Serena asked cautiously, unwilling to believe this was really Bernie until she got solid proof.

Bernie rubbed her eyes and fought through the hazy fog in her mind. What did she last remember? She stopped rubbing her eyes as her brain suddenly pushed the image of Serena’s wet and desperate eyes to the forefront of her mind. 

“Kiev…” she whispered before looking up at Serena “Serena I…” It was then that she realised where they were. Suddenly an entirely different set of images pushed themselves to the forefront of her brain. She remembered being shoved into a van, the sting of a needle biting at her neck. Dear god were they really…

The thought was never finished. Her stomach lurched once more and she found herself once again with her face buried in the bucket as the contents of her stomach left her mouth.  
What was merely seconds, felt like hours and Bernie couldn’t help the tears that trailed down her pale cheeks. When she finally stopped choking on the green liquid leaving her mouth, she took a couple of ragged breaths before wiping her mouth and leaning back against what passed for a headboard. 

“How long have we been here?” she asked, closing her eyes as she heard Serena walk away from her.

“I don’t know, they took my phone. But we’ve been here over night” she then heard running water briefly before there was complete silence again, save for the light footfalls of Serena as she approached Bernie once again.

Feeling a cup pressed to her lips, she opened her eyes and drank gratefully, savouring the feeling of the cool liquid running down her throat.

“Thanks” 

“Well they certainly were going to give you the best suite in the house, weren’t they? Stiff bed, running water? Life of luxury” joked Serena, trying and failing to lighten the mood.

Bernie furrowed her brow in confusion “They? Who are they?”

Serena began to nervously fiddle with her hands “I-I don’t know”

“Where are we?” 

“I don’t know”

Bernie’s eyes widened “What did they inject me with?”

“I don’t know” 

“What do they want us for?” 

“I don’t know”

“SERENA!” Bernie yelled in frustration as her stomach gurgled uncomfortably, whether it was at the lack of information or the drugs she wasn’t sure.

“I don’t know, Bernie!” Serena yelled back in frustration “I don’t know! They said they needed help to win a war, something about needing a surgeon” she chose to leave out the part about not needing her, Bernie had enough upsetting her stomach.

As if on cue, Bernie once again wretched into the bucket, Serena rubbing gentle circles across her back. Bernie felt beads of sweat roll down her brow and couldn’t help the moan that left her mouth as her stomach contracted painfully. 

Eventually Bernie once again lay back against the headboard, her vision dancing as her head spun. ‘Fuck” she breathes as Serena watches her intently “Just kill me now”.

‘She doesn’t mean that’ Serena tells herself, but it still does nothing to quell the anger that flushes her face red. Bernie hadn’t been the one who’d had to listen to her scream and cry out, not knowing how to help her. Bernie hadn’t been the one to try her best to time a seizure without a clock. Bernie hadn’t been the one who’d used what little they’d given her in the med kit to clean her self inflicted wounds and make sure they didn’t get infected in this grotty hell hole. Bernie hadn’t been the one to clean someone else’s blood off her face. Bernie hadn’t been the one who’d stayed up all night, fighting back tears every time there was a hitch or a pause between the blondes breathing as she lay unconscious. So fuck her anyway for making such a tasteless joke.

Serena shook her head to clear her thoughts, what happened last night was another thing Bernie couldn’t find out about. She’d never live down being in such a vulnerable position. 

Bernie was sick on and off throughout the day. A man had come by with two plates of toast but neither were in any state to eat anything, the sight alone only serving to make Bernie gag more. When Bernie did get some strength back, it was only enough to look around the room from her position on the bed to try and form an escape plan. 

At some point, Serena felt her eyelids droop and nodded off, still knelt on the floor with her head on the bed. Bernie said nothing and simply watched as the woman slept. It must have been quite late in the evening when Serena awoke to the lock on the door clicking. Forcing her eyes open, she could see through the opening door the fading light of the sky through the windows just beyond. Her heart sank a little that no one had rescued them yet.

In through the door came the man who, for all intents and purposes, seemed to be the leader from what she’d seen of him. He had a smirk on his face as his eyes fell upon Bernie, still propped up against the headboard. “Good evening ladies, I trust you find the facilities a bit cramped?” Serena’s glare was his answer “Well I must apologise; the room was only supposed to facilitate one of you” He looked directly at Serena now and she found herself rooted to the spot. Was this it? Was this his insinuation that he was going to kill her now? 

A smile broke out across his face. “You had quite a few phone calls last night, Serena Campbell” What little colour Serena held in her face quickly drained “Your colleagues are quite worried as to your whereabouts… as is little nephew Jason” tears began to rise to Serena’s eyes. Jason. He wasn’t supposed to be back until Thursday but his plans had been changed. If that weren’t upsetting enough for him, he’d been expecting Serena home last night. 

He looked to the blonde as she glared at him “Good to see you still alive, Major” he watched as her face dropped and her eyes sharpen as it registered with her who this man was.

“You…” she began “you’re the man who stopped us in the hall outside theatre…” 

“SIMON!” yelled Serena as her mind suddenly remembered. 

Simon laughed at this “well done, Ms Campbell, well done” his green eyes darted between the two women with glee “what luck” his tone was wistful “like waiting for a bus and two show up at once. Two co-leads to thee trauma unit.” His eyes fixed themselves on Serena and suddenly she felt like she was going to vomit “Perhaps we won’t kill you after all. You’re no Major Wolfe, but still every bit as useful” 

Bernie slowly reached across and placed her hand on Serena’s shoulder, borrowing Serena’s strength as she pushed herself up a little taller in the bed “What do you want with us?”

“Hasn’t Serena told you?” Serena flinched at the use of her first name. Dear god she really did feel like she was going to vomit “You’re here because I need you to help me win a war”

“What war? Encase you hadn’t noticed, our government doesn’t fight wars on its own shores anymore” Bernie spat back at him, her grip tightening on Serena’s shoulder as dread began to fill her.

“I’m not talking about the wars you must have seen, Major, however those experiences will come in handy quite soon.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and moved further into the room “Some rather unfortunate competition has come up in lieu of a new drug hitting the black market. We claimed it first and this is our territory.”

“A fucking drugs war…” whispered Bernie in disgust “You people make me sick” 

“Yes well, life must seem pretty damn rosy up there on that pedestal, Major Wolfe. How was last night by the way? Have fun? Only we could still hear you screaming as we drove away” he smiled at her then, a wide toothy grin that reminded Bernie more of a snake than a human. The information he give her puzzled her somewhat though. She was screaming? It certainly explained her scratchy throat but Serena never mentioned anything about her screaming. Why was she screaming? She quickly decided that this was a conversation best had when she was alone with Serena. 

“What about us? How do we fit into your plans?” She tried her best to keep her voice level but she’d be lying if she said she wanted the answer to her question.

“Well, Major, here’s the thing. In 2 days time, we’re going to raid a warehouse of the ‘unfortunate competition’. We’re also going to take out said competition and we’re going to have casualties. You came into my plans because having read up a bit about you, you have field medic training in warzones. Who better to have on my side?” He then turned to Serena “Happy accident here, will assist” 

“I haven’t been trained as a field medic” 

“It doesn’t matter, we won’t be helping him” growled Bernie, anger flaring throughout her body, causing her hand to tremble where it rested on Serena’s shoulder.

“Oh I think you will” Suddenly there was commotion in the hall way just outside the door.

“No… NO! You can’t do this! I DIDN’T DO IT!” echoed through the corridor. 

Both women’s eyes darted to the man being dragged into the room, quite literally kicking and screaming. Serena moved to sit on the edge of the cot beside Bernie as the man was thrown to the floor before them. 

Breathing hard, he attempted to turn and face Simon but Simon had other ideas and kicked him back around to face the women. “No no, Mick, you’re gonna face these lovely ladies and apologise.” Both women looked to Simon in confusion but when no words were forthcoming from ‘Mick’s’ mouth, he simply rolled his eyes. “You see, ladies, Mick here was caught on camera tampering with this month’s supply of the new drug.” He flicked his eyes up to meet Bernie’s “I rather think you owe the Major here a rather big sorry for nearly killing her, don’t you?” 

Mick gritted his teeth as he looked up into Bernie’s face “Army bitch, you deserve everything you get!” He then spat at her “What makes you think you can win this war?” Bernie held his gaze, a sense of dread coming over her. Reaching up, she placed her other hand on Serena’s empty shoulder.

“You see Major, he tried to kill you so you couldn’t help us… now doesn’t that make you want to be sick” Bernie tightened her grip on Serena as he reached behind his back. “Ladies…” He spoke as the tell-tale muscles of his bicep flexed as he tightened his grip around something “This is what happens when I don’t get what I want” 

“No, Serena” Bernie quickly spun Serena around and wrapped her arms around her head, holding her close to her chest and cutting off as much of her hearing as possible as Simon drew a gun and shot Mick in the back of the head. Serena flinched as the gun banged, fear striking her to the core as Bernie rocked her back and forth.

Bernie watched, dear god she couldn’t turn away! She had to make sure that gun wasn’t next pointed at them. She had to protect Serena with whatever strength she had left. It seemed to take forever for Mick’s body to fall to the ground, but it did, the resounding thud sending vibrations through the room. Bernie tightened her grip on Serena as she felt her tremble. 

“I’ll give you until tomorrow to rethink your decision” Bernie glared up at him from over Serena’s head as he stalked out of the room, his minions dragging Micks lifeless body behind them.

When the door clicked shut, she loosened her grip a little on Serena to allow her to breathe but Serena brought her arms up between them and clung to Bernie for dear life. Bernie instead brought one hand down to pull Serena’s legs onto the bed so she could lay her down in a more comfortable position and drew the blanket around them before once again holding Serena tightly as she cried. 

That’s how they stayed until Serena passed out from exhaustion, but Bernie never loosened her grip. She didn’t know what happened whilst she was under the influence of the drugs but she knew that she had to be the strong one now. She’d protect Serena with her life if she had to. “I’ll get you out of here” she whispered into Serena’s hair as tears finally let them selves loose “I promise”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you don’t know why my villain’s name is Simon, you need to go and watch that absolutely ADORABLE video of Jemma Redgrave laughing at a convention with Peter Davison and Sylvester McCoy! It will change your life!
> 
> Update: I've been asked to post a link to the video here   
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3FadBUVdUk
> 
> The mention of Simon is at 21:11 however, the entire video is a gem in itself purely cause Jemma Redgrave has the single cutest/best laugh in the world!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the delay in posting. I had several chapters already written, however, I lost control of Berena and something later on in the story effected earlier chapters so I had to do a re-write *shakes fist* and my exams are over so I should be back on track now ^_^ 
> 
> Special thanks to those of you who continue to leave kudos and comments. They literally get me through whats currently happening to BBC's version of Berena. 
> 
> (Not sure if I can claim I treat the characters better though knowing whats already on the cards ;) )

Bernie didn’t sleep much that night. Between Serena twitching from her undoubted nightmares and Bernie’s mind racing from both trying to calm her down and trying to find a way out, she barely managed an hour. 

The next day came all too soon as more toast was brought to them. Once she’d heard the tell tale click of the lock once more, Bernie gently rocked Serena where she lay and whispered her name in a bid to wake her up gently. Serena, for a brief moment, smiled and tightened her grip on Bernie before memories came flooding back to her conscious mind and she remembered where they were.

Bolting up in the bed, Serena pushed herself away from Bernie and made to stand. Bernie was one step ahead of her though and reached for the bucket before Serena even realised she was standing in Mick’s drying blood. Everything crashed down on Serena at once, the sight and smell knocking her back to sit on the edge of the bed, as her stomach began to contract.

Though Bernie held the bucket before Serena, nothing actually came from her heaving. It was then that Bernie realised she hadn’t seen the woman eat since their meal at that Italian restaurant. She knew Serena had bought a chocolate pastry for her slight hangover but she hadn’t physically seen her eat it.

Bernie sighed and then began to rub soothing circles on the woman’s back in an attempt to sooth her. Eventually her heaving stopped, giving way to sobs that wracked her entire body. Bernie made to put her arms around Serena but Serena shrugged them off. “Don’t” she said brokenly.

Bernie pulled back as though she’d been burned and lowered her gaze to the bed. After a moment, she raised her eyes to meet the back of Serena’s head “Serena I’m sorry”

Serena’s shoulders dropped “what for? Getting us stuck here or trading _us_ in for a short stint in Kiev?” Bernie bit her lip and told herself Serena was a wounded animal right now; she was just lashing out at the nearest target.

“This was an unforeseen occurrence” she replied with a steady voice, making the comment almost clinical in nature “you know that”

“And yet here we are. Shit always seems to go wrong around you, Bernie, and I always seem to have to clean it up! I’m done! It’s gone too far, Bernie!” she yelled. She wasn’t really paying attention to her words; she just knew she needed to shout for a while. “I’m stuck here, whilst Jason is at home right now probably worried out of his skull! Who’s going to look after him, Bernie? Hmm?”  
  
“I’m sure Alan or Raf-” 

“How?” Serena growled, “How can you be _sure_ of anything?” she tightened her arms around herself “you don’t even know how to act like an adult. All your _sure_ of is that your legs will carry you if and when you decide to run when something gets too serious” Serena then let out a bark of laughter “except now of course. There’s a locked door and 4 concrete walls blocking your path” 

Bernie lowered her gaze once more. ‘She’s just upset, its ok. Don’t fight back; you can rise above this for her sake. Just comfort her’ she thought, “Serena it’s going to be ok, we’ll get out of here”

Serena let out a puff of air as tears continued to trail silently down her cheeks “Who are you kidding, Bernie? No one’s even looking for us”

“Me” Bernie said mentally, unaware that she’d said it out loud.

“What?” Serena questioned as she turned to look at Bernie “What do you mean ‘me’?”

Bernie raised her head but she couldn’t quite meet Serena’s eyes “I meant there _are_ people looking for you. Jason’s looking for you. Forgive me but you’ve been gone over 24 hours, half the country is probably looking for you”

Serena seemed to take a moment to mull over Bernie’s words, or what she wasn’t saying to be precise. “Me” Bernie furrowed her brow in confusion and finally met Serena’s gaze “You said ‘me’ as in you think they aren’t looking for you too” 

Bernie lowered her eyes once more “They’re not. Only you got phone calls.” 

“Bernie that doesn’t mean no one’s looking for you”

Bernie pulled herself to the edge of the bed “No, Serena, I…” she took a deep breath and pushed herself onto her shaking legs, needing to distance herself from the other woman “I’m not saying it to get sympathy, I’m just stating facts.” She walked across the room and leaned heavily against the wall “Realistically, who’d be looking for me?” 

“Cameron” Serena replied immediately and with confidence.

Bernie simply scoffed and shook her head before letting her gaze linger on a spot of red on the floor “Serena, I haven’t spoken to Cameron since that day he was on the ward.” Biting her lip, she moved her gaze to a cleaner part of the floor and left it there “Lets face it. Within a month of me being home, I’d burned every bridge I’d ever built.” She said bitterly “I lost the army, I lost my marriage, my kids… Alex. At the end of the day, Serena, I go home to an empty flat and never see another living soul until I turn back up at the hospital.” She looked to Serena once more “You have friends, you have family. People notice when you’re not there.” Taking one look at Serena’s eyes, she knew she’d said too much “Look Serena, the point isn’t whether someone is looking for me or not, the point is, there’s someone looking for one of us. We will get out of this, I promise.”

“B-Bernie I didn’t know, I-I didn’t think” stuttered Serena. She lowered her head as her mind threw a mental image of Bernie in a cold flat on her own, lonely and depressed at her. Shaking off the sad thought, she gazed back up to focus intently on Bernie “I’d have noticed you weren’t there” she said quietly.

Bernie’s stare softened as she looked at the other woman. The other woman who was the most beautiful sight she’d ever laid her sore eyes on. So much compassion and love to give, even to Bernie, as messed up as she was. Just as she opened her mouth to speak the lock unclicked and in came Simon, a smile once again adorning his face.

“Ladies! How are we this fine afternoon?” When no answer was forthcoming, he looked to the blonde “Major! Good to see you up and about. I was beginning to think you were lazy!” He chuckled and right there and then, Bernie had never had such an urge to break someone’s teeth.

He turned his head to Serena and suddenly his face became serious “so… have we decided what we’re going to be doing tomorrow night?” 

Bernie took one look at Serena and she knew _exactly_ what she had to do to save her “Yes” she said without thinking. Simon immediately turned to face her “Yes I will help you”

“Bernie” Serena cut in, shocked, but Bernie wasn’t for stopping.

“I will help you on one condition”

“Oh Major, I don’t think you’re in any posi-” he began but Bernie swiftly cut him off. 

“You let her go” she said with squared shoulders and an edge to her voice that dared him to refuse her.

“And why would I do that?” he said in a sly tone. 

“She’s useless to you. She has no field training or experience. Let her go and not only will I help you, I-I’ll stay with you”

“BERNIE NO!” Serena propelled herself from the bed and made to move towards Bernie but stopped at Bernie’s outstretched hand.

“Serena, no one’s going to miss me. There’s too many people that need you” Bernie didn’t have to tear her gaze from Simons to know there were tears welling in the brunette’s eyes. 

“Well whilst this is all very good and interesting, I don’t think you realise, Major, what happens to people who become useless to me” His eyes moved to the pile of papers at her feet.

Bernie looked down, only now noticing the photographs, and her eyes widened in horror. Serena cursed herself for not having the strength to pick them up and hide them when they’d first been thrown at her.

Bernie shot her head up to look at Simon, colour draining from her face as he chuckled “Lucky for Ms Campbell here, I already know she’s an accomplished surgeon… and very much useful to me.” He paused and smiled back at Serena “but you’re right” he said before turning back to Bernie “she’s got no experience in the field, that’s why she’s going to stay here and wait for the casualties whilst _you_ go out into the _field_ ” 

Serena watched with silent horror as Bernie nodded her head. “Bernie… no” 

Bernie turned her head to Serena then “its ok” she smiles “you’re safer this way” Serena couldn’t even respond. Her throat felt like it was closing over.

“Well now that that’s all taken care of” she said as he clapped his hands together “would you ladies like to follow me to your new theatre?” two men entered the room and began to bind the women’s wrists with cable ties.

“Is this necessary? We’re hardly judo masters” growled Bernie as she watched one of the minions tighten the tie on Serena’s delicate wrists.

“Well, after the state you left my boys in, I think I owe it to them to give them a bit of reassurance…” Bernie looked at him with confusion “and duck tape didn’t exactly hinder you last time, did it?” 

“What are you talking on about?” questioned Bernie. Was this something that happened whilst she had that poison running through her veins?

“Bernie…” began Serena.

“Oh she didn’t tell you? You broke free from the duck tape and took down 3 of my men in the space of seconds… that was of course after you’d already broken another’s nose on the way in”

Bernie turned to look Serena in the eye. With the way Serena refused to meet her eyes, she could only assume the worst. Dear god, she hadn’t hurt Serena, had she?

“Well then… you two obviously have a lot to talk about later. Shall we get on with the tour?”

Bernie continued to look at Serena’s face until the men handling them out forced her to break her gaze.

As they were walked through the halls, Bernie took this opportunity to map out the area. Should they get the chance to escape, she wanted to know exactly where they were going. She also needed to gather information and work out where they were but thus far all she could see were symmetrical hallways with grubby white wash walls and blue doors.

Bernie noted with particular interest that the building seemed to be dilapidated. Abandoned perhaps? And almost clinical in nature. She stored those pieces of information away in her mind when they finally came to a corridor lined with glass.

“well here we are ladies, welcome to your new theatre”

Bernie was vaguely aware of being pushed forward into one of the glass rooms. On the way past the wall of glass, she was horrified to find the right side of her face marred with an angry purple bruise. ‘Dear god… when did that happen?’

Pulling her mind away from her reflection, she took in the room around her. Inside the small room was decrepit, out-dated medical equipment, some bolted to the floor with rusted bolts. Clearly the equipment had been there for years. Were they in some sort of old hospital?

“You can’t expect us to work here” said Serena with disgust.

“Oh, you’ve got no choice, your majesty” sang Simon “what’s wrong with it? I think it’s rather cosy all things considered” 

“This equipment is out of date and probably crawling with germs. Anyone we operate on here will die of infection even if we do save them from their initial wounds”

“Point well made, Ms Campbell” he said cheerfully as he picked up a rusted scalpel from the tray. He then moved towards her and held the scalpel up in front of her face. Bernie jumped forward to put herself between Simon and Serena but was forcefully pulled back by the hair by the man who walked her in.

“Now now, Major, don’t be rude.” He turned to her then “me and Serena were just talking like adults” he turned back to Serena, so close she could feel his hot breath on her cheek “you know I really can see your point, Ms Campbell. I’ll have to liberate you some new equipment…” he looked from the scalpel to Serena’s eyes “Would that appease her majesty?”

When no answer was forthcoming, Simon simply scoffed “Take them back to their room”

As Bernie and Serena were handled out of the room once more, Simon leant in close to Bernie’s ear, scalpel still in hand, and whispered “I don’t know what made you think other wise, Major… but after all this is over you’re here to stay whether you make a bargain or not”. He then reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder, a sign for the man escorting her to stop moving 

Bernie watched with bated breath as Serena continued down the corridor, seemingly unaware that Bernie wasn’t following. Bernie closed her eyes as a dull thud began in her head. This couldn’t be good.

Simon came to stop in front of her and held the scalpel up to inspect it as he spoke “I know it’s risky business bringing in people to help keep us alive when we’ve practically kidnapped them…”  
  
“Practically” Bernie repeated with a harsh snort. Simon’s eyes rose to meet Bernie’s, his features hardening.  
  
“Listen, I’m running a serious operation here and I don’t need to be worried that some jumped up ex-army medic is going to ruin it by betraying me” At this he swiftly brought the scalpel up, coming to stop abruptly with the point directly in front of Bernie’s right eye. It was a move, he’d hope would make her flinch, but frustration began to fester in his stomach when he received no such reaction.

He hummed in irritation as her steely gaze continued to stare back at him “I see scare tactics like this won’t work on you and judging by your words earlier about no one missing you, you clearly don’t have much to loose” he narrowed his eyes “You’re different, Major. All those we ‘acquired’ before you were selfish, but not you. You’re a soldier. It’s been beaten into you not to fear death and to live for others…” he let the words hang in the air as a smile began to blossom on his lips “but you see, I don’t need to threaten your life because you’ve already give the game away” At this Bernie narrowed her eyes. “I know what makes you tick”  
  
“Do you?” she deadpanned.  
  
“Mm I do, Major I do” He drew the scalpel away to examine it once more “You see I flushed you out” he stated proudly “Twice, in the space of 10 minutes, you tried to put yourself in harm’s way for that snotty little bitch” Bernie’s jaw unconsciously clenched at the insult to Serena “You’re a soldier. A protector. You’re life means nothing in comparison to someone else’s, that much is obvious.”

Bernie wanted to scream and shout. She wasn’t that kind of soldier! This man was a fucking idiot! A dangerous idiot, but an idiot none the less. Instead, she drew in a deep breath to show her boredom of the topic and replied “is there a point coming up somewhere? It’s just I’d like to return to my oh so luxurious suite now”

Simon smirked “People are your weakness, in this case Serena.” The only sign that this had even registered with Bernie was the sudden paling of her skin “You’d do anything to make sure she stayed safe”

“That’s not about being a soldier, it’s about being decent human being” she spat back.

“Maybe, but it doesn’t matter… cause that’s your tick.” She replied coolly “You stay in line and do as I ask, I won’t give the order that will lead to her body discovered two weeks down the line, rotting in a canal”  
  
Bernie’s façade momentarily broke at the thought of her beautiful Serena being found with the life extinguished for her soulful eyes. “and what’s to stop you hurting her in the mean time? Or even afterwards?”

He merely smiled at her “take her back to the ‘oh so luxurious suite’, Mac”


	9. Chapter 9

The door clicked behind them, the noise making it blatantly obvious that they were once again trapped. Bernie massaged her now unbound wrists as she watched Serena cross the room to sit on the edge of the bed. The silence was deafening. There was so much that needed to be said, _so much_ that was about to tear their lives apart… they’d both be lying if they said they were ready for what life was about to throw at them.

“Serena… what happened whilst I was under the influence of those drugs?” Bernie asked eventually. She made sure to keep her voice low so as not to startle the other woman, god knew her nerves were already frayed. She could only imagine what the woman must be going through, she wasn’t exactly as rough and rugged around the edges like Bernie was. No, this woman was elegant, dainty. She didn’t deserve this. She didn’t deserve to know what a gun sounded like, or to have her freedom taken away. Bernie had been there, done that, and she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she’d never have wished this upon her worst enemy.

Serena was quiet for a moment, simply staring down at her hands clasped in her lap. “It doesn’t matter” she said in a voice that was barely audible. Bernie saw her lower lip tremble though. Of course it mattered! If it was causing so much distress, it bloody well mattered a lot!

“Serena” Bernie said with an insistent tone. She needed to know. She needed to know what she’d done, what she’d said. Dear god she needed to know she hadn’t hurt Serena. Originally she’d assumed the drug had merely rendered her unconscious but the moment she saw those puffy tired brown eyes, she knew so much more had happened.

 Serena looked over to Bernie then back down at her hands as tears sprung to her eyes “I-I can’t Bernie… I just can’t”

Bernie’s heart broke at the sound of her trembling voice. She quickly brought herself to stand in front of Serena before dropping to her knees and taking Serena’s hands in hers “Serena” she said softly, trying to catch Serena’s eyes with her own. When this proved unsuccessful she tightened her grip on Serena’s hands and whispered to her “Please Serena, I need to know I didn’t hurt you. I need to know that you were ok” Still nothing “please… look at me?”

Serena slowly dragged her watery gaze up to meet Bernie’s. Her lower lip began to tremble and Bernie was immediately reminded of her children’s faces every time she had to leave to go on tour “Bernie… I… you…”

Tears began to well in Bernie’s own eyes. Dear god she _had_ hurt her “Serena… oh Serena I’m so sorry” Serena shook her head then, swallowing thickly to try and gain control back over her emotions.

“You didn’t hurt me, Bernie” Bernie held her gaze, unwilling to let go of the breath she was holding.

“But?” she eventually blurted.

“Bernie… you were… you…” Serena trailed off once more. How could she let Bernie know what happened? It would kill her to know what happened… but then again, looking into her eyes, Serena realised not knowing was also killing her. “B-Bernie, you hallucinated.”

Bernie finally let go of that breath, this couldn’t be good. She hadn’t hurt Serena… dear god did she do something worse to her?!

Seeing the fear in Bernie’s eyes, Serena suddenly found words so easily “No Bernie, you didn’t hurt me! You really didn’t, if anything you tried to protect me from… whatever it was you were seeing”

Bernie let her shoulders drop in relief “so what did happen, the whole truth this time” Serena dropped her gaze back to her hands in her lap “Please Serena I need to know”

Serena drew in a deep breath and stared at floor in the corner of the room, unwilling to meet Bernie’s eyes “You... I…” Serena let out her a puff of air before jumping in feet first, recounting in minute detail all that had happened last night, right up to just before Bernie had blacked out. She hoped against hope that the woman wouldn’t question anything during or after that point. She didn’t want to relive _that_ part of the night… not yet.

Bernie let out the breath she didn’t know she’d been holding.  “th-thanks for telling me” She then looked up at Serena’s tight facial expression “hey… you ok?”

Serena scoffed “Really? Am I ok? We’re hardly in a field full of flowers right now, are we?”

At the biting remark, Bernie winced as she pushed herself from her knees to her feet. She then moved to sit beside Serena on the edge of the bed “sorry”

Serena shook her head at that “No I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything I’ve said since we got here. I’m scarred and I’m worried about Jason and I’ve been taking it out on you”

“No Serena. You don’t have to apologise. I understand.” She replied as she began rubbing her aching wrists once more “This is dangerous situation and you have every right to lash out”

“Not at you though” she said moving her gaze to Bernie’s moving hands. As she rubbed in larger circles, her sleeve began to get pushed up. She bit her lip nervously. Frankly, she’d wondered how the woman had gone this long without noticing the scratches marring her own body.

Bernie stopped rubbing and pulled her hand away from her skin as she hissed in pain. Eyebrows furrowing, she grabbed at her sleeve and pulled it up to her elbow. Gasping, she took in the series of claw marks standing out proudly against her pale skin. With frantic hands, she pulled her other sleeve up to her elbow and gasped as both arms seemed to mirror each other.

Focussing an intense stare at Serena, Bernie reached her hands up to the popper buttons at her throat. Serena glanced at Bernie’s eyes before averting her gaze in shame as Bernie un-popped the buttons to reveal her chest. Bernie looked down at herself and let out a sorrowful breath “well…” she said reverently “I guess I know where the pains coming from now” buttoning herself back up and pulling down her sleeves, Bernie turned to Serena, determined not to scare the woman by keeping her voice calm “was eh… was there part of that story you left out?” Serena was silent, eyes still averted. Bernie’s brows furrowed then “Simon, he said they could still hear me screaming as they drove away… but you didn’t mention anything about screaming…” Bernie clasped her hands together to stop herself from rubbing the painful wounds as Serena continued her silence “Serena look at me”

Serena shook her head. How could she look at Bernie? She couldn’t think about that night, she couldn’t. She’d never been so scared in all her life.

“Serena!” Serena flinched and Bernie immediately regretted the volume of her voice. Serena turned then and defiantly considered Bernie’s face “What did this to me?” she whispered, almost desperate.

“You” she stated, no tone to her voice. She needed to keep this a secret from Bernie, god how she knew that, yet the word tumbled from her mouth the moment she saw those beautiful brown eyes look back at her. She needed to have this out. She needed come to grips with the here and now. She needed Bernie’s arms around her, oh god how she needed to feel those arms around her in comfort. At the same time, she needed to smooth those frown lines off the beautiful face in front of her. She needed to get them out of here.

“Me” Bernie whispered into the still air “Why?” she said with a little more strength.

“Y-You were hallucinating”

“Serena, tell me what you’re leaving out, I need the whole story!” she insisted but Serena dropped her gaze.

“Why?” she asked with an edge to her voice “what good would it do?” Bernie was silent for a moment. She was about to speak but stopped immediately when a sob escaped Serena’s lips “Bernie, please don’t do this…” she whispered “That night was the worst night of my life and I just... can’t.”

Bernie felt a wave of sadness wash over her. She did this. She did this to Serena. She closed her eyes and dug her fingernails into the skin of her palms, needing to feel the pain there to gain control over her emotions. She needed to be strong for Serena. If she needed to be anything, she needed to be that.

“You’re wrong” came a strong voice so suddenly out of nowhere that Bernie physically flinched.

“What?” Raising her puzzled gaze to Serena’s face once more, shocked at the hardened expression she found there as she stared straight ahead at the wall opposite them.

“You’re wrong” Serena repeated once more “about no one missing you. Its bull shit!” her temper was flaring and she was losing her cool but she couldn’t stop the words that left her mouth in such anger “when you were leaving me on the ward, did it not register with you that I followed you? That I was pleading with you?! INFRONT OF THE WHOLE FUCKING WARD, BERNIE!” She was looking at Bernie now, eyes flashing as tears streamed down her cheeks “I went back to _our_ office Bernie, I _cried_ , Bernie! Because of you! And you have the _nerve_ to say no one would miss you…” Serena drew in a couple of shallow breaths as Bernie watched, eyes watering “You were leaving for Ukraine, you weren’t even going for that long, and I missed you before you were even out the door! So don’t you _DARE_ think you aren’t thought about!”

Bernie blinked back tears. The pain tearing through her stomach was worse than anything she’d ever felt before in her life. Not even the IED hurt as much as seeing those wet cheeks and hearing the raw agony lacing Serena’s voice.

Serena scoffed “You never _had_ to go home to an empty flat, dear god, you _wouldn’t_ have been going home to an empty flat… I was going to tell you that morning. I was going to tell you everything”

“T-tell me what” she stuttered, her voice thick with emotion.

She didn’t know why but suddenly the sound of Bernie’s voice made her anger boil white hot “Berenice Griselda Fucking Lone Wolfe!” Bernie flinched and leaned back from Serena, she’d never seen her like this before and if she was honest, it terrified her.

“You want to know what happened?! I’ll tell you what happened!” There was a sharp edge to Serena’s eyes now and Bernie could feel her heart beat faster as adrenaline flowed through her “I thought you’d died! You fucking passed out a-and I couldn’t find a pulse!” Bernie felt light headed.

“S-Serena…”

“No! You don’t get to interrupt. You wanted to know and you know what, its fine because low and behold, I found a pulse! Surprise! You’re alive.” Serena took in another shuddering breath. She could see the pained expression on Bernie’s face, but she’d started now and she needed to get it all out “You woke up” she said quietly and then paused before looking away “It thought you were fine, I thought the drugs had worn off, I thought…” her face once again hardened “and then you started hallucinating again. Suddenly you’re yelling ‘Get down’ and I’m being hurtled to the floor” Bernie gasped at this and Serena once again looked into her tragically beautiful face “Bernie I was so scarred” she whispered “You were holding on so tightly to me and apologising for not being able to save me and…”

Bernie’s eyebrows furrowed as she regarded Serena “and?” she prompted.

Serena shut her eyes tight, her voice like a strangled sob “suddenly you’re on the floor beside me.” Serena lost her breath and gasped “Screaming! Crying out in agony and I couldn’t do anything about it!” Serena let out another heart wrenching sob and Bernie reached out her hand to take Serena’s in hers but Serena pulled her hand away and opened her eyes “You started scrabbing yourself, tearing at your clothes…” Serena began to rock back and forth “I banged the door, I _pleaded_ with them to let you go to a hospital but they ignored me…” She looked into Bernie’s eyes and in that moment, both knew that they’d never seen such sorrow and hurt reflected back at them “you… you had a seizure…” Serena said, breathless “You had a fucking seizure and all they give me was a fucking bucket, a first aid kit and a blanket!”

Bernie put an arm around her and rubbed her arm “Shh, Serena its ok. I’m ok.”

“I dragged you over to the bed and cleaned you up. For fucks sake Bernie, you had someone else’s blood on your face” Bernie remained silent, staring unseeingly at something on the floor “I-I…” Serena closed her eyes “I took your shirt off” Bernie stopped rubbing Serena’s arm. The silence grew heavier as the seconds passed before Serena continued “I-I cleaned your cuts and put your shirt back on”

“Its ok, Serena, you don’t have to continue” whispered Bernie, all life seeming to have left her voice.

Serena shook her head “No… and do you know why? Because I watched over you as you slept! My heart pounded and I felt so scarred every time there was a hitch in your breathing pattern and I was so scarred I was going to loose you” Sobs wracked her entire body now, she didn’t have the energy to hold them back “I need you to unders-s-stand, Bernie!” Bernie turned Serena to face her and looked deep into her haunted eyes “I n-need you to understand that people _do_ care about you. _I_ care about you.”  

Serena shut her eyes once more as arms enclosed around her. She felt herself pulled into Bernie’s body and didn’t protest. She’d needed this. She’d needed this for the longest time and finally she had it, it saddened her to realise that it shouldn’t be under such circumstances.

Bernie pulled Serena further onto the bed to allow her to lie down. With her arms around Serena, like the night before, she rocked Serena until she stopped crying and fell asleep.

Bernie stayed awake for hours after Serena. Her brain replayed everything from the past few days with the addition of Serena’s information filling in the missing gaps. Serena had suffered so much and now she was going to leave and join a battle she had no interest in fighting, she wasn’t even confident she’d come back alive.

Bernie looked down at Serena’s face as her eyebrows came together in a frown and separated again in her restless sleep. Serena cared so much for her, more than anyone she knew… more than she deserved. She couldn’t let her break her heart when Bernie didn’t return from their ‘field’ mission. Bernie sighed. How could she have even considered Kiev? How stupid was she?

Bernie bit her lip. She couldn’t do this to Serena; she had to sever her tie somehow. She had to make Serena stop caring so she could move on with her life after this was all over. It was then and there that Bernie made up her mind and formed a plan in her head. She’d free Serena, in every way possible, she free her.

“I’m so sorry Serena. In more ways than you’ll ever know, I’m sorry” she whispered against Serena’s hair as tears slowly paved their path down her cheeks.

She placed a delicate kiss to Serena’s head and sniffed as Serena tightened her grip on Bernie in her sleep. Tomorrow. She’d begin her plan tomorrow. If this was to be her last night on Earth, she’d take tonight and allow herself the comfort of Serena in her arms.  

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!: This chapter actually broke my heart to write. I put it off for so long because I knew it would hurt but god! I actually felt physically sick writing it! Sorry.

A soothing warm breath on her neck, that’s what Bernie awoke to the next day. In her sleep idled state, she allowed herself a smile as her brain registered the warm weight in her arms.  Serena. She was in bed with Serena. Her smile widened as she imagined the light streaming in through the window to illuminate the brunette in a hazy glow, the world still and beautiful as she slept.

Opening her eyes, Bernie’s smile fell immediately.

The room was cold; the severe yellow light hanging overhead casting dark shadows across the walls. It had been a dream. They weren’t in Bernie’s happy place; they were still holed up in this dank little room. There was no luxurious satin bed linen; there was no soft four-poster bed… just this wooden cot with nothing more than Serena’s coat for a mattress and a tattered blanket for a duvet.

Bernie closed her eyes at the disappointment and swallowed hard as reality came crashing into her. This was it. Today was the day she walked, willingly or not; onto a battlefield she had no intentions of coming back from.

Opening her tired eyes, she looked down at the beautiful woman in her arms. She’d give anything to repeat their positions under better circumstances… to think they would have had she not fucked everything up and decided to accept the secondment.

Tears pricked her eyes. This really _was_ her fault. Had they left the hospital at the right time and gone back to hers for dinner, this may never have happened. Those men might never have taken them away in that van and Serena would be safely tucked up in her own bed. Her fault. All her fault.  

Taking in a shaky breath, she steeled herself for the day ahead. Today she would break the sweet, gentle heart she loved so much in order to allow it the freedom it needed to beat. Blinking the tears out of her eyes, she pressed once last soft kiss to the brunette’s head before disentangling herself from her warm body and climbing off the bed as quietly as she could. If this was going to work, she needed distance between them.

She paced for a while, sorting through in her head exactly what she would say. She edited and re-edited the script. She didn’t want to be cruel to Serena but at the end of the day, the crueller she was, the less Serena would miss her when she wasn’t there.

Bernie stopped moving and let out a shaky breath. With a polished script, she just hoped her body and conscience would let her deliver the words she’d memorised. Serena would hate her. Well and truly hate her. The grief she felt at knowing this was more than she could bare. She loved Serena with all her heart and she hoped she’d never have to understand her actions today.

Pain suddenly lanced through her head. “Fuck” she whispered as she brought her hands up to clutch her aching cranium. White lights began to dance in her vision before turning black as she shut her eyes tight against the pain. No sooner had that pain started though that it once again stopped. Bernie’s brows furrowed as her vision cleared, she had no time to worry on it though as the loud clapping of feet echoed in the corridor outside the room.

The lock on the door clicked. Bernie pulled back her shoulders and straightened her back. Up until now, the person they’d met was weak, little Berenice Wolfe; she figured it was time she showed them the Major they kept calling her… if nothing else it would give her the courage to face Serena.

As the door opened, Serena bolted up in the bed, shock evident in her features. Bernie’s heart give a twinge at that but she quickly pushed down the feelings once more. She had to be strong. For Serena.

At the sound of footsteps into the room, she turned to face the door. She fought the urge to smile as her new-found strength made the smug grin fall from Simon’s face momentarily. The Major made him nervous from one look, that was certainly useful information she’d store away in her mind.

Biting his lip, Simon turned to Serena and the smile blossomed on his face once more. “Ladies, I’ve taken the liberty of delivering your breakfast this morning myself” Taking the confidence he’d built up at viewing someone he perceived as weaker, he once again turned back to Bernie with a renewed back bone “and I suggest you eat it this time, Major. You have a big day ahead of you, you’ll need your strength”

As he went to walk further into the room with the plates, Bernie’s movement stopped him. Bernie approached him with steel in her eyes. She could see his hands begin to shake as she got closer. ‘Good’ she thought ‘I hope he remembers what I did to those men, god knows I don’t’

Taking a hold of the plates in his hands, she observed how he physically gulped. She smirked ‘War… what a joke. If this man’s poker face was stripped from him the moment he lost a little of his control over fear, then he was going to lose.’ Turning her back on him, she turned to face Serena, plates in hand, and her smirk dropped ‘If he lost though, Serena would be stuck here forever with no hope of rescue’.

Biting the inside of her cheek, she rested one of the plates in Serena’s lap. He wouldn’t lose this little skirmish; she’d make sure of it. She was a medic, but no less a soldier. She’d protect Serena by serving him. She didn’t fear death, that had been drilled out of her during her army training, and if need be, she’d gladly die in the knowledge that her sabotage had in turn saved Serena’s life.

“Major, I also took the liberty of ‘acquiring’ you some equipment” Bernie placed both plates down beside Serena before straightening her back once more and turning back to the man to meet his eyes. He pulled at a strap around his body to reveal a shoulder bag from behind him. Smiling, he pulled the strap over his head and threw the bag at her feet. “I really must say, the security in that hospital of yours leaves a lot to be desired! It was almost as easy stealing this as it was stealing you”

Bernie said nothing, but simply sank down to her knees and opened the flap on the bag “No gun?” she asked simply, her tone level and uncaring.  
  
He chuckled then “what, and have you shoot one of us trying to escape? No thank you”  
  
“What use am I to you if I can’t defend myself?”  
  
“Don’t you worry about that, Major… besides isn’t there some vow you’re supposed to take as a doctor? Do no harm or some bull shit like that?”

Bernie gritted her teeth “In most cases” this was bad. She’d have to change her plan. She always needed a plan B but in this case, she couldn’t afford one. She’d have to get creative.

With a smirk and a glint in his eye, he turned and made towards the door again “Take out what you don’t need, Major. Someone will come back to get you when its time” and with that the door slammed closed again, the click of the lock accompanying it.

“Bernie…?” Said a feeble voice behind her.

Bernie closed her eyes and paused in her inspection of the bags contents “I don’t know what he expects me to do with half of this, it’s rubbish” she said, keeping her tone the same as earlier.

“Bernie, I… I don’t…” Bernie opened her eyes again and began to pull things from the bag she didn’t need “Bernie are you even listening?” Bernie’s hand hovered over a bottle. Drawing it out of the bag and into the weak light of the room, Bernie read the label. “Bernie, please!”

Bernie placed the bottle back into the bag and stood. Turning on the spot, her back still rigid and pose still very much military, she looked Serena in the eye. “yes?” she stated simply.

Serena’s brow furrowed ‘Bernie, are you ok?”

“Perfectly well, given the circumstances, thank you” she said briskly, turning once again and scooping up the bag to give herself something to do.

Serena watched as Bernie once again began fumbling around inside the bag. Something had changed. She felt like she could physically see the wall Bernie had thrown up seemingly overnight.  What was this? Was she scared? Was this her way of coping with fear? “Bernie please…” she said once again, worry tinging her voice. Bernie didn’t address her, instead she simply continued fiddling with things in the bag “BERNIE LOOK AT ME!”

Bernie flinched, her gaze fixing itself to Serena with such a force she felt dizzy.

Serena’s breath began to grow heavy as words began too jumble in her mind. How was this woman acting so cold? If this was her reaction to fear, god how she envied her! The ability to just compartmentalise every emotion and lock them away “Bernie I’m scared” she let out in a rush of air.

Bernie blanched at this. This wasn’t part of the script she’d planned in her head. She’d perfected the script! Made it unforgivable! She just didn’t know how to start, nor did she want to if she was honest with herself. Squaring her shoulders, she looked Serena in the eye with renewed back bone “Its ok. I’m going to get you out of here”

“and you!” interjected Serena.

“What?”  
  
“And. You.” Serena repeated “Bernie, we’re both here, we’re both getting out”  
  
Bernie schooled her features and turned her attention back to the bag “eat your toast”.  
  
Serena blinked “Bernie” she said, her voice strong with warning.  
  
“I said eat your toast, Serena” Bernie repeated through gritted teeth, stopping her actions.  
  
“FUCK THE TOAST!” She yelled in response, lifting one of the pates and smashing on the floor.

Bernie flinched but did not turn.

“You stand up!” she shouted over the lump forming in her throat “you face me!” Bernie didn’t have to see Serena to know there were tears in her eyes “and you tell me that we’re both going to get out of this together” she said a little more quietly.  
  
Bernie sighed. She had to break her heart, she had to sever Serena’s ties to her. It was the only way Serena could move on without her. Now or never.  
  
“Maybe I don’t want to go back” ‘This is it’ she thought ‘no going back now’  
  
“What?” oh that hurt. She’d failed to factor in how broken her own heart would be to hear Serena’s crushed voice.

“I said…”  
  
“I KNOW WHAT YOU SAID!” screamed Serena in frustration “What do you mean you don’t want to go back?” she was practically growling at this point.  
  
Bernie took a deep breath and turned to Serena “The secondment… Ukraine!” she scoffed “there’s a reason I accepted it! I can’t go back there, Serena. Not to them and _certainly_ not to you” Bernie could feel her voice threatening to betray her ‘Steady old girl’ she thought to herself ‘it needs to be done’.  
  
“What are you talking about?” Serena sounded so small in that moment that Bernie physically had to close her eyes to block out the sight of her.  
  
“I’ve out grown Holby”  
  
“And us? What about us, have you out grown that too?” came Serena’s retort, laced with anger.  
  
Bernie dug her nails into the palm of her hand and opened her eyes “what us?”

Serena gasped and physically took a step back from Bernie as tears pricked her eyes “y-you don’t mean that! You said you cared about me”

“Caring doesn’t mean there was ever an us” She’d never felt such pain before. She’d happily run naked into a burning building soaked in lighter fluid if it meant she didn’t have to be here right now, saying these words to the woman she loved more than life itself ‘stay strong. Stay strong! I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry!’

“No!” tears began to stream down Serena’s cheeks with rapid succession “After you kissed me, you said you’d wanted to do that for weeks! WE’D PLANNED TO HAVE DINNER TOGETHER!”  
  
“I had an itch I needed scratched” Bernie felt the bile rising her throat at her words. Taking a deep breath, she tamped down on the feeling and focused on levelling her voice “You know it really wasn’t as big of a challenge as I’d thought it would be to _turn_ the very straight Serena Campbell. Almost made me feel like I hadn’t worked very hard for my reward to be honest” Bernie physically turned away from Serena then, she simply couldn’t look at her now. It was too much. In a way, she wished they’d start the raid sooner. Lord knows she wanted to die more than anything right in that moment.  
  
Bernie waited patiently for Serena’s reply, half expecting to be punched right in the face. The silence was agonising. Her stomach was contracting against her attempts not to be sick as blood rushed in her ears. The room was spinning. She was almost certain she was going to faint when she felt a delicate weight settle around her throat.  
  
Opening the eyes she hadn’t realised she’d closed, she looked down at the pendant resting over the opening of her blouse. Furrowing her brow in confusion, she turned to face Serena.  
  
Serena’s gaze was fixed to her feet as she spoke “My father give me that necklace when I’d turned 21. I always believed it brought me luck” raising her head to look once more into Bernie’s face, she watched as Bernie’s fingers came up to rest over the pendant “It’s very important to me… and so are you.”  
  
‘Fuck’ thought Bernie ‘This _definitely_ wasn’t in the script!’  
  
“I know you, Bernie, and I’d like to think you’re not that kind of person. It may just be wishful thinking, but I’m hoping you’re saying all this to push me away for some reason and that there’s no truth to it what so ever.” Bernie opened her mouth to speak but was stopped by Serena raising her hand to quiet her “Look. If all of what you said is true, then I’ll accept it… but not now.” Bernie could do nothing but gaze into the wet pools staring back at her “Bring this back to me… and if at that point, everything you said still stands… I’ll believe you a-and I’ll let you go”

Bernie felt like she’d had the air sucked from her lungs. This was Serena’s insurance. She saw right through Bernie and this was her way of making sure Bernie would return to her. But no! This wasn’t how it was meant to go! She was supposed to make Serena move on, not give her hope!  
  
“Serena, I can’t take this with me” she said as she began to reach up being her neck to the fastening.  
  
“Don’t you dare, _Ms Wolfe_ ” Bernie stopped in her actions and caught Serena’s eye “Whether you care for me or not doesn’t matter… well it does but…” Serena took a deep breath “look I know it’s just a token that holds no real power, but believing it brought me luck got me through the worst of times. You may not feel about me the way I feel about you but you’re going out there into a gun fight. If this necklace helps to bring you back alive, I’ll happily live the rest of my life without you, knowing that you’d survived and were living the rest of yours”

“There’s someone else” blurted Bernie, a last-ditch attempt to turn Serena away.

“Oh…” was all Serena could manage for a moment as the light in her eyes faded “well… like I said. I’ll be happy just knowing you’re alive. When we get out of here, I’m sure you’ll be very happy together”  
  
Tears pricked at the back of Bernie’s eyes. She didn’t know it was possible to fall this far in love with someone. This woman, this brilliant woman, regardless of how badly Bernie was trying to treat her, just wanted her to live despite the pain it would cause her to do so with someone else.  
  
“Do you love her?” Serena whispered after a long silence filled the space between them. She didn’t want to know, not really. If she was honest with herself, she was hoping Bernie would say it was all a ruse.

Tears actually fell from Bernie’s eyes then as she stared back at the heart breakingly beautiful woman before her “I do” she whispered “I really do”.

Seeing the honesty and sincerity in Bernie’s eyes told Serena more than the words ever could. Whoever this woman was, Bernie loved her more than she could possibly ever know. She’d be lying if she said it didn’t cause her an intense pain in her chest and a sense of jealousy to rise within her, but she wouldn’t be lying if she said she hoped Bernie would finally have a happily ever after.

“Good” she heard herself say “I’d be happy to meet her when we get out of here” ‘LIES! WHY THE FUCK DID YOU SAY THAT! LIES! LIES! LIES! YOU’D HAPPILY SHOOT YOURSELF FIRST AND YOU KNOW IT!’ Serena closed her eyes against her inner voice and turned back to the cot.

“Serena!” Bernie called out. Serena turned back, a glimmer of hope igniting in her eyes once more “here” Bernie watched as the fire completely extinguished in Serena’s beautiful brown eyes her gaze fell upon the scalpel held in her outstretched hand.

“oh…” she whispered, trying to mask her disappointment “wh-whats this for?”  
  
“Keep it hidden and keep yourself safe” ‘You bitch. You absolute bitch. You could never deserve a woman like her’

Serena took the scalpel and nodded her head before climbing onto the cot and lay down with her back-facing Bernie.  
  
Bernie realised this was going to be hard, she never realised just how hard. Taking the remaining plate of toast, she picked a piece up and raised it to her mouth. Just as her lips touched the cold crust, she immediately dropped the food and pushed the plate away. She had no appetite, nor did she deserve to have after what she’d just put Serena through.

‘It’s all for the best’ she told herself as she lowered herself to the floor beside the bed. She leaned her head back against the cold wood and let her mind drift to that warm place she’d found herself in as she woke with Serena in her arms. ‘It’s all for the best’ she repeated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thank you to all you wonderful people leaving kudos and comments. In a world where this fanfic and current Berena angst exists, you guys are the rays of sun light.


	11. Chapter 11

Deep breathing permeated the stark silence that had fallen between them quite some time ago. Sniffing, Serena wiped the tears from her cheeks and turned on the cot to gaze at the sleeping blonde.

‘There’s someone else’ the words repeated in her mind as her eyes trailed up the woman’s long elegant neck. ‘God how stupid could I be’ her eyes landed on the woman’s soft lips and lingered ‘Of course there’s someone else. She wanted to confine it to theatre, she wanted to forget the whole thing… she was trying to do the right thing by her other woman’   
  
Serena grimaced, anger taking hold of her ‘But they’d kissed again! They’d made a dinner date!’ Serena scoffed ‘Just like Edward. Once a cheat always a cheat’ her eyes journeyed a little higher to focus on Bernie’s closed eyes and furrowed brow. Serena softened a little to watch Bernie in her restless slumber.

‘But she said she went home to an empty flat and never saw anyone until she came back to the hospital’ she mentally recalled ‘Fucking idiot. She’s with someone at the hospital!’ her brow furrowed as tears prickled the back of her eyes once more ‘probably someone younger, prettier, thinner, has less baggage… someone who isn’t afraid to love another woman.’ Serena scoffed sadly then ‘same as always then…”

“I guess it doesn’t matter who I’m with” she whispers, so faintly its barely audible, as she thinks back on her previous partners “I’m not reason enough to stay”.  Closing her eyes, she turned her back on Bernie once more.

A lone tear escaped Bernie’s eye and ran down her cheek as she opened her eyes to the harsh light of the room once more. She didn’t know how long she’d been asleep but the cold reality of their situation hit her hard as she heard Serena’s broken whisper.  God how she wanted to scoop the woman into her arms and never let her go until she realised she was the most amazing human being on this underserving planet.

Her reserve almost made it to breaking point when the lock on the door clicked. Bolting to her feet, Bernie watched with anticipation as the door slammed open. A burly man wearing a bullet proof vest walked in.

“You” he said with a gruff voice as he pointed a dirty finger at Bernie “Come with me, sunshine! Show time”   
  
Bernie glanced in Serena’s direction to take in her face one last time before turning back to the man and nodding. She bent down and picked up the medi bag and made for the door.  
  
“Bernie wait” Bernie stopped where she stood and turned back to Serena.

“We don’t have time for this” came the gruff voice behind her.  
  
“Oh shut up” Bernie heard herself say. She hadn’t meant to say it out loud but she had and it was out there.   
  
A watery smile appeared on Serena’s face as she held up her coat “Here” she said as she pulled the coat around Bernie’s shoulders “Stay safe and bring my necklace back to me”

Bernie nodded, not trusting her voice to reach past the lump in her throat. God this woman was beautiful. Even after days of not washing, her hair grimy and out of place, her makeup smudged on her pale face, she was most beautiful sight Bernie had ever seen. Bernie committed her face to memory before turning to leave once more.   
  
Serena grabbed her arm and spun her back around to face her. They were practically nose to nose and Bernie had to fight hard to push back the urge to kiss the woman before her. She dragged her eyes up from those wonderfully plump lips to instead gaze into Serena’s brown orbs.

She watched as Serena’s focus pulled up from her own lips and she could have sworn she’d seen a brief glimpse of Serena’s own internal struggle. After a moment of eye contact, Serena seemed to relent and instead threw her arms around her and held her tight. Bernie, after a second of hesitation, brought her arms around the other woman and buried her face in her neck.

“Alright that’s enough, it’s time to go” Bernie could almost hear the sympathy in his voice as he spoke. Almost. Serena was the first to pull back. At the sight of the tears in her eyes, Bernie opened her mouth to speak. She needed to tell her she loved her. It wasn’t fair! But before she could, she was pulled backwards through the door by the man, the door slamming in her face and cutting her off from Serena as he clicked the lock on the door.

“No Simon?” Bernie asked, straightening her shoulders and pushing the emotions deep down. She was very much aware off the fact that she was walking away from Serena for the last time.

“Boss had better things to be doing” he grunted.

“So he _is_ your boss then?” she said as she scanned her surroundings for the tinniest little detail that could give her a clue as to where they were.

He grunted once more, choosing not to elaborate further as he pushed her through an open door into the cool night air. She pulled the coat tighter around herself and paused for a moment as the scent of Serena invaded her nostrils. ‘Serena’ she thought ‘I’m so sorry’.   
  
Rough hands pushed her forward onto the gravel. Turning back as she was walked further, she took in the sight of the building, or more specifically the sign. The sign was hard to read, rust covered nearly 90% of its surface, but in the gloom, the shadows cast against its surface spelt out ‘Hope Wing clinic’.

A smile began to bloom on her face before she caught it and schooled her features once more. Turning back in the direction she was being pushed, she took in the sight of men climbing into vehicles.

She dug her heels in and stopped then. “Tha-That’s my car” she said breathlessly as she watched a stranger, far too big for her little sports car, start the engine with ease.

“Ahh, Major!” Bernie cursed under her breath “I see you’ve noticed our newest edition to the collection.” Simon sauntered up to her with his hands in his pockets and whistled “She’s a fast one. Cheers for that!”  

“How?” she blinked.

“Well… we saw you park shortly before we lifted you” he said nonchalantly “Your keys were in your bag when we took you… and decided we wanted a bonus toy to play with” He turned to her then, a toothy grin on display “So looking forward to our little outing together” he practically sang with excitement.   
  
“Can we just get this over with?” she bit out.  
  
“Eager, are we?” He snorted “Very well, you can sit up front with me, Major! It’d be nice to have someone to talk to on the journey”   
  
Bernie shuddered but followed him to the front seat of a blacked-out jeep. As he climbed in beside her, she mentally steeled herself. “Bet you’re used to this kind of thing, Major, all this muscle under the trunk” he boasted proudly shortly after clearing the lane up to the clinic.  
  
“You have a very warped view of the world, Simon. One of these could barely survive a speed bump, never mind survive where I was” she deadpanned. She didn’t want to have a conversation with him, she really didn’t.   
  
He harrumphed and started the engine “you know you really should try to make the effort with me.”  
  
“Really?” she scoffed “and why might that be?”  
  
“Because I’m the only thing standing in the way of those bastards back there cutting you limb from limb” he turned back to her then.  
  
“Oh and I suppose they’re not going to do that anyway the minute this is all over” she spat sarcastically.  
  
“Well… your little friend back there maybe…”

Bernie paled. What if they did that whilst she wasn’t there? ‘God, Serena, I hope you put that knife to good use’ she thought.

“But not you. I want you alive and well, Major” Bernie flinched at the feel of a hand running up her thigh and turned to Simon “you really are something special” Bernie recognised the look on his face, it was the same look he’d worn that morning when she was trying to intimidate him “and I plan to show you”

‘Dear god’ she blanched ‘I didn’t scare him at all! The shaking! His nervousness… he was fucking aroused! Not intimidated!’ Bernie wanted to throw up, instead she clamped her hand down harshly atop his to halt him in his path.

“And what makes you think I’d let you get that far? I’d rather them cut me apart” she said through gritted teeth.  
  
“Oh Major” He bit his lip as colour rose in his cheeks.

‘That little bastard is getting off on this sick charade!’ she thought as bile rose in her throat.

“That drug you were injected with” he reminded her “isn’t the only drug we dabble in” he squeezed her thigh slightly at this “we have ways to get what we want. Personally, speaking from a moral stand point, it would be nice to get your consent and participation, but it’s not strictly necessary” he grinned at her silence and pulled his hand away and began to drive.

“You make me sick” she bit out as the light from the passing buildings and street lamps give way to pitch darkness.

“oh I do, do I? And whys that?” he chuckled.

“It’s people like you that are the reason women can’t go out without worrying whether they’ll get raped or drugged! Its people like you that tear families apart! Get kids hooked! Ruin futures!”  
  
“Now now, Major! We aren’t the monsters here. We aren’t the men who use these drugs on women. Nor do we force drugs upon kids, or anyone for that reason!”   
  
“Bullshit! You may not use the drugs but that doesn’t make you any less of a monster! You supply them! For god’s sake, your sending men to their deaths over a bit of competition!”

Suddenly Simon slammed on the breaks. Bernie quickly shot her hands out to stop herself being forced over the dash board and out through the windscreen.   
  
“Now you listen here” he said with a dangerously low voice “You have no right to judge me, you don’t know what it’s like to be so low in the food chain you’ll literally do anything for a pitiful crumb” Bernie stared back at him defiantly “Drugs are the only way we can make money”   
  
“No… its not” she replied calmly “there are people out there that can help you, get you back on your feet and find honest work”   
  
“Wake up, Major and take a look around. This country has gone to shit! We’re the result of a broken system. We know what we are and we know what we could have been. You think I didn’t try to better myself? Sought a better life? There’s no help out there for the likes of me.” He set the jeep off once more.

“It’s not too late to do the right thing. You don’t have to let the system win; you can still be a good person” she said as she massaged her wrists.  
  
He scoffed at this “Being good and being nice doesn’t get you anywhere in the world, Major. Being nice isn’t going to make me let you go. The systems already won and I’ve cheated on and killed too many people to turn around and start doing the right thing now. We are what we are and nothing can change that”  
  
“That’s where you’re wrong. You could go to councillors, support groups”  
  
“Inside prison walls? No thank you” he stated harshly “You know what, Major, you should shut your yap before I start to dislike you. I need a medic, not a conscience”

Bernie bit her lip “or maybe you just need someone to talk to.” Simon rolled his eyes “Look I know I’m a complete stranger but I do think you need help”

“You know what, you’re right” he said in a suddenly sing song voice “I did need help and I sorted it. I needed a medic and I got you”  
  
Bernie let out a frustrated breath “Do you even know how a field medic works?”  
  
“No, that’s the point. You do, end of story” Making sure that that was the end of the conversation, he swiftly hit the button on the radio and drove in silence as the chorus line of some song she vaguely recognised filled the air.

“Y…” Bernie cut herself off before she spoke the rest of her thought. He didn’t know how field medics operated, he just knew the gist of the job description and thought he needed one. She could make this work to her advantage.

As the song drifted off, theme tune of the local news filled its space “And here is the top story for today. A woman in her 50s is still missing after a 2-day search has come up with nothing. Serena Campbell reportedly went missing after leaving her work place at Holby City Hospital to drive home.” Bernie, without hesitation, reached across and turned the knob to raise the volume “Officials say their prime suspect is one Ms Berenice Wolfe, whom authorities have not been able to track down. Representatives from the hospital told police Ms Wolfe was a trusted colleague and friend of Ms Campbell’s, however, witnesses say Ms Wolfe and Ms Campbell openly argued on the ward shortly before Ms Campbell went missing”   
  
“That’s bullshit” gasped Bernie, not believing her ears.

“Police urge witnesses to come forward about Ms Campbell’s disappearance and welcome any and all information as to the whereabouts of Ms Berenice Wolfe. They also advise that Ms Wolfe should not be approached under any circumstances. And now for the weather…”

Simon reached across and turned the radio off again. Glancing in Bernie’s direction, he could see from the tight muscles on the side of her face that she was clenching her jaw.

“Well this is awkward” he said jokingly, but Bernie wasn’t in the mood for jokes “suddenly I find myself in a car with a dangerous kidnapper”   
  
“Shut up” she snarled. God she was seething. How could they think she could do something like this?   
  
“Not to be approached under any circumstances… wow. What did you two argue about” he laughed.

Bernie, her patience well and truly worn thin, reached across and grabbed a fist full of Simons shirt and roughly pulled him across the hand brake to look her in the eye, all thoughts of crashing gone from her mind despite the squeaking from the wheels as Simon tried to right the steering. “I think I told you shut up, didn’t I?” Real fear washed over Simons features this time, but Bernie’s mind was too clouded to notice it. She vaguely registered his nod before gritting out through clenched teeth “Then I suggest you do so, Sir, before I remind you why you shouldn’t have gotten into a confined space without backup” With that, she let him go and glared at the road stretching out before them.

Silence hung in the air for a while after that, a silence that allowed a livid Bernie to form her plan B. She’d probably have to kill someone but with the way her mind set was in that moment, she didn’t give a damn. If she was caught she’d be dead anyway so she wouldn’t have to worry for too long about the blood on her hands. However, her plan didn’t involve getting caught. If she could help it, she was going to survive this. She was going to survive this and bring Serena back her neck lace and prove them all wrong.

Simon was right about one thing, being nice wasn’t going to get her anywhere in this sick world he’d dragged her into, however, when this was all over she’d prove that love belonged in the world she’d come from. She’d prove it with everything that was in her by falling to her knees in front of Serena and beginning her lifelong worship at the feet of a goddess.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting. I went home for my Birthday and legit had close to zero wifi due to heavy winds. The perks of living on a mountain with minimal wifi even on a good day. I hope my fan art has made up for my absence ^_^


	12. Chapter 12

It was pitch black out when the vehicles finally rolled into a grotty looking industrial estate. The land reeked of waste, even from inside the jeep, a fact that wasn’t aiding Bernie’s mood.  They came to a halt just beyond a shabby run down warehouse. Bernie kept her eyes forward as Simon turned the engine off and lifted a radio from the dash board.

“Right lads… this is it” he spoke “you all know the plan, get in, get the loot, get out. Shoot any and all who stand in your way. This time next week, we’ll be rolling in it”

Simon turned to Bernie “Right, Major! Shall we?” he held out his hand but Bernie turned her back to him and simply opened her door and got out.

Hanging back a little, she watched as the men, balaclavas hiding their faces, crept towards the building in formation and sized up their opposition through cracks in the metal work and broken windows.

“9 men in sight, Simon” came a crackled voice over the radio.  
  
“Excellent, on my mark we engage” he replied.

Bernie scoffed. Who did these men think they were? From her stand point, they were nothing more than boys playing adults. Bernie watched one man in particular hold his gun sideways. Amateurs! They probably got every bit of knowledge they know from films!

At Bernie’s scoff, Simon reached across and grabbed her arm. Before she could react, he dragged her across the pavement towards the building.

“Ok” he said into the radio.  
  
“Wait!” whispered Bernie sharply.

Out of reflex, Simon halted his orders “what is it now?”

Bernie raised her sharp gaze to his and brushed his hand off her arm “I don’t plan to die here tonight, check again and see how many of those men are armed and what they are armed with”

Simon held her gaze a moment longer before giving the order to his scouts.  
  
“4 hand guns and 2 knives in sight” replied the radio.

“Happy?” whispered Simon “What use is this information; we’re going to shoot them all anyway!”

Bernie rolled her eyes “The men with no weapons aren’t an immediate threat. Those with knives are a close combat threat. Your immediate targets should be those with guns. They’re long range and they’ll take out your men far quicker than the ones with hand weapons”

Simon let out a puff of air in exasperation “Right, slight change in plan, lads. Target those with guns first” Bernie rolled her eyes once again “Happy now?”

“No. If you actually knew what you were doing, you’d have planned a reconnaissance before coming out here.” She spat back.

“What?”

Bernie looked up. Simon followed her gaze and his eyes widened “They probably already know you’re here” she said with a hint of mirth.

Tearing his eyes from the CCTV camera overhead, Simon hastily pulled the radio to his mouth “ENGAGE! I REPEAT! ENGAGE!”

The doors to the warehouse burst open and in ran the men, Bernie closely dragged along by Simon.

Shots began to fire as men huddled behind crates and pillars. Bernie flinched upon hearing the first bullet leave its barrel. It had been a long time since she’d heard the roar of a gun and she found that it filled her with adrenalin.

After that the formation of dispersed and split up, it didn’t take long for the first of Simon’s men to fall. Bernie, after a shove from Simon, ran towards the fallen man hidden behind a stack of crates by the far wall. She could practically feel the burning friction against her clothed skin as she narrowly dodged gun fire, a sensation that shook her somewhat as she knelt beside the man and opened her med kit. 

Her eyes caught sight of metal and she reached across the groaning body to take his gun from him. Just as she brought the gun back to herself, it was swiftly taken from her grasp. Looking over her shoulder in panic, she saw Simon with a knowing look on his face.

“I’ll take that, Major, and you can get back to tending to your patient” with that, Simon was gone.   
  
Bernie pressed down on the man’s wound, it was pointless though. She didn’t have the equipment she needed to save him. She wasn’t lying when she said the contents of the bag were rubbish. Checking his pulse, she knew she was too late.

Bernie, brow furrowed, tentatively ran a hand down the man’s body and gasped as her fingers curled around a rectangular object at his thigh. She quickly reached into his pocket and drew out his phone. ‘YES!’ she thought with sudden glee. Perhaps she didn’t have to kill anyone after all to follow through with her plan.

Checking over her shoulder to make sure Simon couldn’t see her, she quickly brought the screen to life. Her shoulders dropped at the sight of the lock screen. ‘Just my luck’. She froze momentarily as a thought struck her. She should still be able to make an emergency call! Hitting the green button, the screen came up with ‘Emergency calls only’.  Bernie almost giggled as she slammed her thumb down on the numbers and rang.

“Police and Ambulance.” She stated clearly “I don’t know where I am but there are estimated 20 armed men and currently 3 casualties with gunshot wounds, 1 fatality” with that, she placed the phone on the floor between the crates even as the woman on the line continued to talk. She had no time for names and what not, they’d trace the call and know exactly where to find her.   
  
Bernie then rummaged inside the bag and drew out the glass bottle she’d found in there earlier and smiled. Making quick work of the lid, she began pouring the liquid iodine on the concrete floor, staining letters into its surface.   
  
“Major, where are you? There are men seriously injured out here!” she heard Simon yell from somewhere on the warehouse floor.  
  
“There’s only one of me and I’m currently saving a life!” ‘Serena’s life’ she added mentally.

Just as she’d finished the second word, she swapped hands. Her wrists were hurting from where she’d placed her hands against the dashboard when Simon slammed on the brakes.  She made to begin her last word when a bang behind her sounded.  
  
Bernie let out a scream as the bottle shattered in her left hand, shards of glass biting into her skin. What little remained of the liquid inside sprayed its self against the wall, traces of red bleeding into its orangey brown colour as it dripped down the wall.

Bernie turned to see a man with a handgun approach her. A small part of her mind vaguely registered his body clothed in that of the beige cameo uniform she’d once upon a time worn herself, however, as she cradled her bleeding hand, the need for protection outweighed her need to question why a soldier was getting mixed up in all of this. Her frantic gaze settled on a metal bar just to her right, but as he raised his gun, she knew she was out of time.

Bernie closed her eyes tight and thought of Serena. Her beautiful Serena. ‘I’m sorry I couldn’t save you, my love’ she thought as she drew her hand up to caress the pendant hanging at the base of her throat.  
  
‘click’

Bernie’s eyes shot open and watched as the man’s face crumpled in horror.

‘Click click click’

“Out of ammo” Bernie breathed in shock, perhaps Serena’s necklace had some power after all. Her mind didn’t linger long and before he’d had the chance to reload, Bernie found herself swinging the metal bar at his head with her right hand.  One blow and he was out cold.

His body hadn’t hit the floor before Bernie caught sight of something glinting in the corner of her eye. Swiftly taking a step back, she watched as a blade was swung down in front of her. Thinking fast and using the assailant’s downward momentum against him, she rammed the end of the bar against the man’s face, blood spurting everywhere as he cried out.

Dropping the blade and grabbing at his now broken nose, he didn’t have much time to think before Bernie swung the bar upwards. He couldn’t even cry out in pain. As Bernie drew the bar from between the man’s trembling legs, he promptly fell to his knees before blacking out.

Slightly breathless, Bernie took one last lingering look at the man dressed in army uniform and turned back to the shattered glass and cursed. “There goes that plan” she bit out, anger lacing her words. Bernie knelt on the floor beside her stained message. She knew there was nothing in the bag that would allow her to finish it. Sighing, she threw the bar at the floor in annoyance and instinctively put her hands in the pockets of her coat. She winced immediately before pulling out a plastic card from the left pocket.   
  
Drawing the card up to eye level, she saw the face of Serena smile back at her. ‘Serena’s ID’ she thought. Bernie watched, mesmerised, as the blood from her wounded hand began to drip down onto the plastic.   
  
Her mind then went into over drive. Dropping the plastic to the floor, she quickly opened her hand against the pain and began to pull pieces of glass from her skin. She smiled as more blood began to seep from her cuts. Turning back to the floor, she finished the message with her own blood.

With renewed hope, she pulled the phone from where she’d hid it between the crates and placed it beside the message. The phone was no longer engaged, which hopefully meant help was on its way. The phone belonged to one of Simon’s men. If she died here tonight, they might find contacts on it to help them find him, at the very least her message would help them find Serena.

A thought struck her then as she read the message ‘Hope Wing Clinic’. That meant nothing! How could she link it to Serena?   
  
Her eyes flitted down to the I.D card. With that, she swiftly removed the coat from her shoulders and placed it over the message, hiding it and the phone away from prying eyes. She then set about writing a new message on the pale fabric of the coat. It was simple, but at this point, she was beginning to feel dizzy from blood loss and it would have to do.

She drew the I.D card up to her lips before placing it down atop the blood-stained fabric ‘Good luck, my love’ she whispered as she gathered her supplies, and make-shift weapon, and made her way through the rest of the warehouse to tend to Simon’s fallen men.  
  
She hadn’t even noticed upon passing his motionless body that the man with the hand gun was no longer wearing a soldier’s uniform, but rather a black hoodie and jeans.  

It was as she’d reached the fourth man and her head started spinning that she realised she should have eaten something before this expedition to raise her blood sugar levels. It was as she reached the fifth that sirens began to blare somewhere in the distance and suddenly, her dizziness didn’t seem like such a problem. A string of profanities rang out amongst the men who remained standing. Panic took hold as the men scrambled and grabbed what they could.

“Leave the dead!” yelled Simon above the hub bub “Grab those crates and let’s go”  
  
Men in balaclavas made quick work of hauling the crates out through the door. As the sirens grew louder, Bernie watched Simon approached her with a man in his arms “Is he alive?” Bernie nodded her head, unable to do much else “If you can, grab him and let’s go”

Bernie grabbed the man’s arms and leaned down to pull his broken body over her shoulders. With his arms resting over her left side and his legs hanging over her right, she raised her self on shaking legs to full height. He wasn’t light by any means, but she used what little strength she had and hastily made for the door.

This man, it would seem, was not destined to be saved by her though. Just two steps from the door, she collapsed under the weight of his body, hers hitting the concrete with a dull thud. She vaguely registered his body being rolled off hers as blue and red lights lit up the walls around her. She then felt two rough hands haul her to her feet and drag her out through the open door and into an awaiting van.

With that, doors swung closed behind her and they were off.

 


	13. Chapter 13

Shouting. She couldn’t understand the words, but even so, she could hear them. Taking a deep breath, she shut her eyes tight as she applied pressure to an unconscious man’s chest. She felt sick. She felt light headed. Lights were dancing behind her eyes. Oh god, she wanted to hold Serena in her arms and never let go.

Serena.

Bernie suddenly sat up straight “Shit” she whispered. ‘Why did I write them a message? Why didn’t I simply tell the police on the phone where Serena was?!’ Bernie’s face paled further as panic began to take over her ‘How could I have been so stupid? What if they don’t find the message! Fuck! I’ve killed us’

Simon seemed to notice the look on her face but quickly brushed it off as his eyes were momentarily blinded by the flashing lights of the police cars chasing them “Take the next right and go through the estate, there’s a back way we can take. We should lose the cops through there!” he yelled frantically to the driver.

The van swung into the turn, both conscious occupants in the back of the van stumbling to the floor with the force.

Bernie forced her aching limbs to push herself up straight and looked down at the man before her with a knife sticking out of his chest “You weren’t properly prepared for this” she said with a grimace as she reapplied pressure to the wound. She wasn’t completely certain whether she was saying this to herself or Simon.  
  
Another sharp turn. This time Bernie managed to stay upright though she could swear she felt one side of the van lift from the road.

“We got the drugs, all things considered, once we lose the cops this mission will have been a success”

“Success?” Bernie scoffed “You lost all but 2 of your men”

Simon’s face suddenly fell as he looked down to the bleeding man below them “Are you telling me he’s not saveable?”

“No. If we get back to Serena there’s still a chance we can save him”

There was a loud bang from the front of the vehicle and Bernie braced herself. The van swerved once more, taking a fence with it as the blue lights continued to follow them into a playground area.   
  
“Simon we’re coming up to the back way, its gonna get bumpy!” came a shout from the front.

Bernie watched as Simon grabbed onto the seating in the back of the van. Following his lead, Bernie quickly took her hands away from the man in front of her and braced herself on whatever her hands could grab.

With a roar from the front of the van that Bernie couldn’t understand, the van sped off an embankment. Bernie felt a sudden weightlessness take over her and her stomach lurched at the sensation. All too soon, there was weighted thud accompanied by the sound of smashing glass. Out of instinct, Bernie brought one arm up to shield her face from the falling glass. With the squeaking of a damaged suspension the van continued to speed off on the other side of the gully.  

In a moment of disbelief, Bernie dropped her arm and her eyes darted to Simon’s. He wasn’t looking at her though. He was looking past her through the now shattered windows of the back doors. She too turned her head in the direction of his gaze to see the blue lights fading as they moved farther and farther away from police cars on the other side of the gap.   
  
Breathless, Simons eyes once more returned to Bernie before looking down at the man lying prone on the floor of the van.

“Can’t you do anything for him now?!” He yelled with a shaking voice. Bernie turned and once again threw her hands onto the man’s chest to apply pressure “How about starting by taking this thing out of his chest” he said with a stronger voice as his hands closed around the handle of the knife.

“NO!” Bernie grabbed his hand and held it in place before he could pull “You pull that out of his chest and he’ll bleed out. I don’t have the equipment here to save him!”   
  
Simon narrowed his eyes at her “You better not be lying to me. If he dies, so do you”

Bernie mirrored his harsh gaze for a moment before loosening her grip on his hand “put your hands where mine are and apply pressure”

He did so but furrowed his brow as she pulled her hands away and began rummaging in the medi bag “what are you doing?”  
  
She pulled out some water and cotton buds and pulled the bloodied latex gloves from her hands “If I’m to save him, I have to tend to my own injuries first.” She stated matter of factly as she began to wash the blood from her hand.

She did her best to pull the pickles of glass from her hand but she knew that without tweezers or a scan, she wouldn’t find all of them. When she took out the sterile needle and began to suture her wounds, Simon turned away. He couldn’t watch this.

Simon looked to the man lying on the floor in front of him and willed him to wake up. To crack a joke and make everything ok again. The woman in front of him was right. He’d gone in unprepared… and now he’d lost most of his friends and was about to loose…

“Simon what are we going to do about the cars we left there?” Simon flinched as though he were physically torn from his thoughts.

“There’s nothing we can do. The police have them now.” Simon brow furrowed once more “Actually… I want to know how the police knew where to find us. Those bastards wouldn’t have called them with this kind of merchandise lying around”

“Don’t know, boss, but someone called them” came a voice from the front of the van. Bernie froze momentarily as she finished stitching her hand.

“Should I call ahead and tell them we’re coming back?” came another voice from the front of the van.

“Yeah” Simon narrowed his eyes once more at Bernie “weren’t you wearing a coat earlier?” There was no way she’d have had the time or resources to call the police… so why did he have such a strong suspicion it was her?

Bernie blanched, her eyes never leaving her hand “Lost it during the gun fight, found it too restrictive”.

 

* * *

 

 

Serena paced back and forth, just as she’d been doing since little after Bernie left. She had to. It was the only thing stopping her from falling into another panic attack. God, she hoped Bernie would be ok. She knew she’d lost her romantically, but she meant what she said, she’d rather the woman be alive and happy with someone else than dead.

Sighing, she finally sat down on the edge of the bed. Pacing wasn’t going to get her anywhere, she had to believe that Bernie would be alright. “she will be” she said aloud “she’s strong, brave… beautiful” Serena groaned and placed her head in her hands. “how could I have been so stupid”

Serena flinched as the door to the room burst open. She physically gripped the bed frame as a man with two black eyes and a plaster over his nose rushed into the room. “Wh-whats happening?” she asked as her voice shook.

The man, she now recognised as the man who’s gotten his nose broken when they arrived, reached down and roughly grabbed her by the arm and hauled her to her feet. “They’re on their way back, we have a casualty” he said with haste.

Almost tripping over her own feet at the speed with which she was being pulled down the corridor, Serena didn’t even register the splinters left in her hand from having her grip forcibly removed from the bed frame. Her thoughts were too focussed on Bernie.

Was Bernie coming back with them? Was she alive?

Or worse… was she the casualty?

 

* * *

 

Blue lights refracted back off every surface as a burly man in a Duffle coat walked towards the tall building. ‘God I could do with a coffee right now’ he thought as he fought off a yawn and shoved his hands into his pockets.

“Sir” he heard a voice say and raised his eyes to see an officer approach him.

“What have you got, Clark?”

“Sir, the team have searched the warehouse, there’s no one here… no one living anyway. We’ve got 14 bodies, Anderson is on identifying them.”

“Alright, then why don’t you explain why you got me out of my bed at this ungodly hour for nothing more than 14 unidentified bodies. This is below my pay grade”

The other man looked nervous now “That’s the thing, Sir, we’ve reviewed some CCTV footage from the control room out the back of the building. The gang that started the gun fight had a woman with them that very much matched the description of one Ms Berenice Wolfe”

Suddenly Coffee wasn’t needed to make the man in the duffle coat more alert “go on"

“There were cars left on the premises as well when the men and the woman fled” he gestured to a team who were photographing and documenting the vehicles in question. A rather large jeep and a small sports car “The jeep is stolen but the Mazda’s registered keeper is Berenice Wolfe”

“Right” he sighed as he ran a hand over his face “Were a team sent after them?”

“Yes, Sir, but they lost them out the back of the Mills housing estate”

“Shit” he whispered to himself “Right, take me to the control room! I want to see those tapes”

“Yes, sir, right this way, sir”

The moment they entered the building, the man in the duffle coat immediately scrunched his nose up at the sight of such a massacre, the forensics teams hovering over the bodies like blood sucking flies.

They’d taken no more than 6 steps into the building when the faint sound of a piano melody stopped them in their tracks.

“What is that?” he asked more to himself than the officer beside him.

“Can we get some quiet please!” he yelled, his voice immediately stopping the hub bub of chatters and camera clicks.

“I feel the shadows hanging over, they’re waiting to come closer” echoed off the walls of the now silent warehouse “To come and take me away”

“Isn’t that the music for the new Google phone ad?” He heard someone say somewhere down the back of the building.

“The question is, where is it coming from?” the man in the duffle coat growled. The melodic voice of the woman singing seemed to come from everywhere.

“And I can feel my heart skip. Every time that I slip. I wanna run away”

Suddenly the sound of drums and a brass instrument he couldn’t quite place filled the space. “There he yelled” as he ran towards a stack of crates, the officer closely following behind him, but as they reached the wooden boxes the music stopped. The man in the duffle coat stepped around the stack “were these men part of your body count?” he asked as he gestured to the two unconscious figures lying in a pile at his feet.

“No, Sir, we didn’t know they were here. That makes 16 bodies, sir”

“Didn’t know they were here?” he replied with annoyance “how could you not…” His words died on his lips as he noticed the brown liquid still drying on the wall with a coat lying beneath it. As he stepped towards the coat he shot back a retort about the officers team not doing a good enough job if they didn’t notice a huge wet brown stain on the wall, but that too died on his lips when the Holby city lanyard came into view.

“Sir” he heard another officer say as she approached.

“Not now, Readman”

“Save her” The man in the duffle coat said as he read the dried blood on the pale fabric of the coat. He suddenly reached into his pocket with frantic speed and drew out a tissue. Using the tissue, he lifted the Badge and rubbed some of the blood off its surface. “Serena Campbell” he said breathlessly as her name and smiling face was revealed to him.

Suddenly all three officers froze as the piano tune from earlier started again. The man in the duffle coat was first to react as he slowly peeled back the coat to reveal the vibrating phone. His eyes then darted to the words stained onto the concrete ‘Hope Wing Clinic’. His face paled and his eyes widened.

“You” he said pointing at the female officer.

“Yes, sir?"

“Take a call from Mummy” he said with haste as he threw the phone at her “I want details”

“Y-Yes, Sir” she said as she frantically grabbed for the singing phone.

“And you” he said, motioning to the other officer “arrange for Backup to meet me on route to Hope Wing Clinic”

“That abandoned place we raided 3 years ago?”

He merely nodded in response “if anyone asks, tell them is an order from Robbie Medcalf!”   


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Crawls out from under my igloo of books to see if any readers are still hanging on* Sorry for how long its taking for these chapters to get here. I'm bogged down with deadlines right now but I promise you this story is NEVER abandoned! ^_^

The doors of the van swung open as they pulled up to the building. Simon quickly scooped the injured man up in his arms and jumped out. His feet carried him across the gravel faster than they’d ever done before, as he willed the man in his arms to live.

Bernie jumped out behind him, immediately regretting her decision as her vision swam momentarily. Pain stabbed at her head, just like before, as a wave of dizziness took her.  Swaying violently on her feet, she reached a hand out to steady herself against the door of the van.

Hands grabbed at her to get her moving, jerking her body in such way that she had no other option but to physically bend over as coloured liquid projected from her mouth.

Breathing heavily, a wave of drowsiness washed over her as the pain in her head fizzled out.

“Alright?” came a rough, yet oddly sympathetic, voice beside her.

Drawing the back of her uninjured hand up to wipe her mouth, she slowly nodded as the night air cooled her suddenly feverish skin.

She once again felt herself being walked towards the building she’d been trapped in for so long and opened her eyes. Her brows furrowed then. This wasn’t the clinic. Before her was a shack with little more than a tin roof full of holes and a door hanging off its hinges.

Bernie looked around her. Sand. There was nothing around them but a wasteland of sand. Furrowing her brow, she closed her eyes against the sinking realisation that even if someone _did_ find her message, they’d never find them.

Bracing herself once more, she opened her eyes. Bernie stopped once again as dizziness overtook her and her vision doubled. With another swift jerk from the men holding her, her vision shot back to a singular image like a stretched elastic being released.

Bernie physically jumped with momentary fear as the doubled image of the shack, combined rather abruptly to once again form the abandoned ruins of Hope Wing Clinic.

Bile rose in her throat once more as her confused mind took in her surroundings. She physically clenched her fists to fight back the rising nausea. “What the fuck!” yelled Bernie in frustration as she shook her head.

“Ok that’s enough” said the man beside her, his voice no longer carrying its undertones of sympathy “Let’s just get her inside”.

 

* * *

 

 

Serena tapped her foot impatiently as she rung her hands. ‘Dear god’ she thought “what if it is Bernie?’ she bit her lip ‘what if I can’t save her?’ Serena stopped tapping as an altogether new concept came at her ‘what if it’s not her? What if she got left behind and is lying somewhere injured and alone?’

Serena’s dark thoughts are halted by the sound of clapping feet in the corridor outside the room. With bated breath, she waited beside the operating table, frozen to the spot. The clapping grew louder and louder, echoing the thumping of her heart in her ears. ‘Please don’t be Bernie. Please don’t be Bernie’ she repeated in her head.

At the first sight of Simon and his entirely male casualty, she let out a sigh of relief, which was quickly followed by dread, as she found no sign of Bernie following.

The sound of Simon placing the man in his arms down onto the table snapped her out of her momentary state of frozen dread and she turned to Simon “Wh-Where’s Bernie?” she asked, unable to ground the trembling in her voice.

Simon turned around, for the first time noticing that the Blonde wasn’t behind him “She was…”

“Stand at EASE!” Came the booming voice of the Army Major, cutting Simon off mid-sentence as her tones echoed off the walls of the corridor.   
  
Serena jumped into action at the sight of Bernie walking past the glass wall and into the room. “Bernie, you’re alive! Are you ok?!” she couldn’t help blurting out when she took in the sight of blood drying on her clothes and in the cuts on the Blonde’s face.

The blonde merely smiled and nodded. It was then that Serena took in just how tired the woman looked. Dark rings under her eyes and paper white skin that made her cuts and bruises seem all the more angry. How did she not notice this in the time they’d been holed up in that room?

“I am… now I know you’re safe” she replied, a softness to her voice that Serena had never heard before.

“Excuse me!” yelled Simon in desperation “Man dying here! You don’t have time to screw this up!” Serena immediately jumped into action but Bernie stood still “Excuse me, Major, was there something you didn’t understand about _you don’t have time_?”

“I have to get scrubbed in” she replied.

“Fuck that! Just save him! What? Did you have to get _scrubbed_ in every time you operated on the battle field too? Just get that fucking thing out of his chest”

Bernie growled and grabbed a fresh pair of gloves as she moved to stand over the body. She needed to bide her time. She needed to hold out hope for Serena’s sake that someone was coming to save them.

Serena looked over as she watched Bernie struggle to pull on one of the gloves. “Your hand” she gasped “what happened to your hand”.

“I do believe you have more pressing issues, don’t you Ms Campbell?” said the man with the broken nose.

Bernie hastily pulled the glove on over her stitches to hide them from Serena’s view. With any luck, the restraint from the glove would help hold the stitches closed and maybe Serena would be able to focus more without being able to see them.

“How’d it go?” asked Atkins, the nasally tones of his voice not quite masking the anger in his question. He was obviously still bitter that the woman who’d broken his nose was still alive.

Simon took one last glance at the body on the table before taking Atkins over to the corner to speak to him more privately.

“Bernie” Serena whispered as she felt at the man’s neck. She looked up to find Bernie subtly shaking her head at her with widened eyes. A warning not to say anything. She already knew it was a dead body they were operating on.

“I mean, we lost everyone but Lucas and Ali, at least we saved him though. I dread to think what those bastards put him through when they took him. He was bound and locked in a store cupboard when we found him.” Said Simon with a grimace “He was free for all of 3 minutes before he put himself between me and a knife” at this, Simon covered his face with his hand.

“Its ok, Simon. He’s here now. He can be saved. That bitch saved Tom, right?” Simon nodded as he thought back to meeting ‘The Major’ just days ago in the hospital “then she can save dad”

Simon lowered his hand as he watched the two surgeons conversing over the body, doing magic he couldn’t even hope to understand.  He then looked to the pale features of the man lying on the table as they hooked him up to the bag of blood they’d stolen. In that moment, he prayed to a god he no longer believed in that he’d be ok. After all this was said and done, he’d sell the drugs, shut up shop and move him, his brother and their dad somewhere new where no one knew them. Start a fresh with the money they’d make. Life would be better from here on out.

It was as Bernie lifted the scalpel from the tray that his mind ran back to the police being called. He still had the niggling feeling that it had been the Major that had done it but how? He watched the blade come down to his father’s stomach and waited with bated breath for her to finally slice him open.

But she didn’t.

It was then that his brows furrowed together as he watched her companion glance up at her with barely concealed tears in her eyes. The Major seemed to communicate with her somehow with nothing but a nod, her eyes returning to the figure below them.

Bernie poised the blade over the man’s stomach once more before freezing at the sudden intrusion of Simons voice “Where’s Lucas and Ali?”

Bernie’s eyes unfocused for a moment as a wave of heat washed over her, momentarily causing her a brief spell of dizziness as she fought to stem the shaking of her hand caused by panic.

Simon stepped a little closer to her “I do believe I asked you a question, Major” he spat.

Serena watched as Bernie took in a deep breath “If you mean the two lucky survivors of your kamikaze mission, how should I know? They’re your men. They’re probably unloading the oh-so precious Cargo you deem more important than the lives of mere boys who probably trusted you” she growled.

Simon swiftly nodded to Atkins. Bernie raised her eyes as she watched him run out the door, his clapping footsteps disappearing down the empty corridor.  Simon then turned his harsh gaze to Serena, who Bernie noticed was beginning to shake under such scrutiny.

“Can we proceed or do we just let this man die?” spat Bernie, hoping to take the attention off Serena.

“What do you need to do to save him?” he bit out at Serena.

Serena blinked furiously to stop the tears from falling as her entire body convulsed of its own accord “w-w-w-w-well…” her mouth then fell slack as nerves over took her and she shut her eyes tight.

Letting out a panicked breath he quickly drew his gun out of its holster and held it shakily against Bernie’s head. Bernie flinched, not at the gun, but at the breathless yelp from the woman across from her.

‘Serena’ Bernie thought as she tried her best to communicate telepathically with her ‘It’s going to be ok, Serena, it’s going to be ok.’ Not even she believed the words she was silently trying to communicate.

“Tell me you can save him” he said with a shaking breath as the barrel of the gun trembled against her temple.

“Simon…” she began.

“TELL ME YOU CAN SAVE HIM!” he screamed as his rough voice tore from his throat painfully.

He pushed the gun harder against her head and she momentarily closed her eyes. As his voice stopped reverberating off the wall, all that was left in its wake was the gasping sobs from the woman she so desperately wanted to hold in her arms just one last time.

‘I love you and I’m sorry’ she thought once more, hoping that if just one miracle happened tonight, it would be her comfort to Serena. She’d already failed her for the miracle to be that they’d live.

Dizziness took her once more and she tightened her fist around the scalpel in her hand. After a brief moment, she opened her eyes to meet Serena’s. She flashed her eyes in the hopes that Serena would recognise it as some form of signal, but she was wrong. Instead, Serena gasped at how blown the woman’s pupils were, momentarily drawing Simons gaze away from Bernie.

A small smile fell onto Bernie’s lips, unconsciousness taking over her brain, as she swiftly turned on her ankle, grasped Simon’s wrist to point the gun away from herself and drew the scalpel blade across his cheek. The single second it took for her to do this seemed to hang suspended in the air. Serena could practically see the muscle inside Simon’s cheek as his skin ripped open before the blood realised it was supposed to flow out.

In a flash, or the clatter of a gun hitting the floor, time seemed to speed up once more as Simon’s now vacant hand flew up to press hard against his gaping cheek. At his anguished cry, Serena’s eyes darted to Bernie who seemed to be clutching her head and looking around as if she didn’t realise she’d just attacked a person.

Bernie fought the flash of pain lancing through her cranium before taking in the scene before her. ‘What just happened?’ she thought, before quickly turning to Serena “RUN SERENA!” she screamed.

Serena froze momentarily before bolting from the room faster than she’d ever thought possible.

Simon recovered quickly and made to bend down to pick up his gun. Bernie, quickly channelling her hand to hand combat training, kicked the gun under the table before grabbing the front of his hoodie and pulling his head down hard against the metal worktop. Simon stumbled back before falling to the floor, spitting out blood and teeth as he went.  Bernie made to move past him to retrieve the gun when he reached out and grabbed her left ankle. Startled, Bernie drew her right leg back and forced all her energy into the swift kick to his head that rendered him unconscious and her free.   
  
At the sound of Serena’s terrified scream in the corridor outside, all thoughts of the gun left Bernie’s brain and she rushed out into the corridor, Serena’s name leaving her lips in a strangled cry. Her legs moved faster as she saw Serena wrestle with Atkins at the end of the corridor. He had a knife to her throat, but was struggling to complete his act of murder as Serena pushed the blade away from herself with her bare hands.

Feeling her strength beginning to fail, she leaned her head down and sunk her teeth into the man’s hand until she tasted blood. His roar of pain immediately filled the corridor. He pulled Serena around and threw her at the wall, her body immediately crumpling to the floor after a loud thud echoed through her skull. As her world turned black she watched the man approached her, knife poise justly. ‘This is it’ she thought ‘This is where I die’ and with that, her world ceased to exist. There. A crumpled heap. At the end of a corridor of glass.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting, I had deadlines to complete.

Atkins’s breath came in heavy bursts as he glared down at the woman crumpled at his feet. Tightening his grip on the knife, he briefly imagined replacing her vertebrae with it. ‘Consider it payment for drawing the first blood’ he mentally added as he unconsciously moved towards her, his mouth watering at the prospect as he watched her eyelids droop closed.

Drawing the blade back he trailed his gaze over her back, his eyes darting to the exact point he wanted his gleaming steal to taste iron.

With a jump, he pitched forward to end the woman’s existence when an unknown entity pulled his wrist away, the force causing his entire body to follow for fear it may detach all together. He closed his eyes against the sharp pain such a jerked movement cause to his wrist and shoulder joints, giving him the time to register what felt like finger nails digging into the skin of his wrist. 

Opening his eyes with a start, he found himself staring into a set of, all too close, brown eyes.

A shiver ran down his spine at the coldness that met him in those eyes, a sharpness present far greater than that of his blade. If there’d been any warmth in this woman before they’d taken her, it was well and truly gone. This was a broken woman out for blood.   
  
But he wasn’t going to let her have what she wanted.   
  
Pulling his arm from her grip, he made to bring the blade down to pierce her ribs when, in one swift movement of her head, blinding pain erupted in his fragile nose once more. Through his cry of pain, he vaguely registered the clatter of the knife hitting the floor and squinted against the building tears.   
  
Through the watery haze, he saw it. That same crazed look in her eyes with his blood spattered half way down her face. She’d done it again, just like she had when she’d broken his nose in that van the day they took her. This time, however, there was no one to stop him cutting the bitch in two.

Feeling significantly braver and fuelled by his rage, his eyes darted down to see the knife on the floor, hers following. Within a second, both eyes met once more. Silence surrounded them as they stared. Both knew that whichever made the first move would break the suffocating tension, yet neither was quite ready to do so.   
  
Bernie’s eyes momentarily moved to Serena’s prone body on the floor as she let out a deep breath. The sound alone of the air moving past her lips was so shocking against the eerie silence that the man across from her jolted into life once more.  
  
He bent down to retrieve the knife when in one swift move in his periphery, he felt a weight on his back and an arm around his throat. Bernie thrust her hips forward and brought her upper body backwards, effectively pulling the man’s hand away from its intended target before he could reach it.   
  
The man coughed and spluttered as he clawed at the arm still locked around his throat from behind. Bernie’s pupils grew wider as she tightened her grip, her brain vaguely registering that she saw her own arm clad in desert army fatigues as opposed to the crumpled and torn fabric of her green shirt.  
  
In blind panic, Atkins pitched backwards, ramming the woman against a pillar with all his might. Bernie cried out in pain, her grip loosening as she felt her back crack under such force and leave her winded. Gasping for air, she sunk to the floor as he pushed himself away from her.   
  
Tears sprung to her eyes when the air didn’t seem to quite fill her lungs. Thinking of Serena, she pushed through her discomfort and looked up just in time to see the sharp end of a knife being thrust towards her. Moving on instinct, she dug her latex covered nails into the grouting of the grimy floor beneath her and slid her body down further to lie flat on the tiles.

Vibrations shook through her as the knife connected with the wall above her, the force alone causing fractures in the blade until it shattered.   
  
“Cheap piece of shit” she heard the man spit out.     
  
With adrenaline coursing through her veins, she kicked up at the man now standing over her in a bid to take away his advantage. What she was unprepared for was the man grabbing her foot and twisting. Helpless, she rolled her body with the foot when the pain alerted her to her ankles breaking point.   
  
Faced down on the floor, she felt her foot being released and scrambled to get up. In one swift move, a hand grabbed at her scalp, roughly pulled her to her feel and pressed her against the glass just to the side of the wall she’d been so harshly slammed against not a minute earlier.   
  
Breathing hard, Bernie watched as the glass fogged, blurring the warped reflection of the man behind her. She shut her eyes tight as the man moved his body to become flush with hers.   
  
“I have you now, bitch” He whispered into her ear “and I’m going to enjoy it”  
  
Bernie felt his body weight lift away from her as he give himself some room. She didn’t know what he was going to do but she saw her opening and took it. Fighting against the hand holding her face against the glass, she brought her fist back hard against his crotch.  
  
A wave of satisfaction rolled over her to hear his pained roar in her ear. With that roar came his loosened grip, which she also took advantage of by knocking his arm away with hers and pivoting on the spot. He barely had time to look up at her before he felt a fist connect with his jaw.   
  
Stumbling backwards, he held his hands up as he felt her fist connect with his face once more. He braced himself against the third strike, a strangled cry accompanying the significantly weaker blow. His eyes shot open, hands still held up to defend himself, to see Bernie cradling her left hand, blood filling the glove encasing it.

Bernie winced, her hasty stitches had burst and her hand felt like it had been torn open. She didn’t hesitate for long, she knew she couldn’t let him get the upper hand again. She could feel it in her bones, her body was ready to give out. She couldn’t give up though. Not yet. Not until Serena was safe. So with her vision blurring and her body aching, she lunged forward once more and threw her uninjured fist out with her waning strength.  
  
This time Atkins anticipated her. His hand closed around the fist headed his way, effectively trapping it in place. Bernie’s eyes widened momentarily, however, he wasn’t interested in gloating. He instead shot his other hand up to clamp around her delicate neck and shoved her backwards until her back hit the wall.   
  
Letting go of her fist, he wrapped his other hand around her neck as she fought against him. Punches rained down on him and nails cushioned by latex dug into his hands, but he didn’t stop. The woman was a force to be reckoned with and he had to end her.   
  
He’d seen what she’d done to Ali and Lucas, who else could it have been? Simon had given him a signal to go and see where they were, the only two men that had come back with him. He intended to clap them on the back, only to round the corner and find them both out cold in the corridor. One’s arm bend out of shape, the other’s teeth on the floor instead of in his mouth.

Hearing her rasping breath as he literally choked the life out her, he couldn’t help but wonder where Simon was. Once he’d found Lucas and Ali, he’d run back as fast as he could for fear that this monster in his hands had done the same to him in his absence, however, on the way back he heard a cry of ‘RUN SERENA!” and then SLAM! He rounded the corner to collide with the short haired brunette.

It was only now that he realised he hadn’t actually seen Simon and a wave of panic washed over him at the thought. He looked into the woman’s face, her eyes struggling to stay open and her blows so weak he could barely feel them. Risking a glance behind him, he called out Simons name.

With Bernie’s dying breath, she watched as his attention turned away from her momentarily. Focussing all her energy, she drew her legs up against the wall and planted her feet flat against it. With no time to lose, she forced her legs to push herself away from the wall, effetely throwing Atkins off balance.

His hands left her throat only for a second before she had a hand on his face and was ramming him back against the glass wall behind him.  His head hit the thick pane with a dull thud that echoed through his skull, it took him a moment to realise he was falling… why was he falling?   
  
He could see the woman above him, as if time were suddenly slowed down. The silence was deafening. He watched through her fingers as her eyes widened… and then everything went black as the back of his head cracked against the metal worktop on his downward decent to the floor.   
  
Bernie let out a grunt as she landed on top of the man, her breaths coming in gasps as she fought against the burning sensation in her lungs. With tears streaming down her cheeks, she looked back at the place where the glass should be. She didn’t quite anticipate putting the man through the window.

Letting out a relieved sigh, she momentarily rested her head on the man’s chest. She needed to get her breath back. Just for a moment. She smiled to herself as she closed her eyes. She could almost imagine that it was Serena she was using as a glorified pillow.   
  
Serena.  
  
Bernie’s eyes shot open and she pushed herself up on her elbows. Serena! She had to get to Serena! Adrenaline suddenly filled her blood once more. She tried to bend her knees up so she could stand, however, her left wouldn’t respond. She could feel her left leg but as she tugged once more she realised it seemed almost tethered somehow. Like it’d been tied down.   
  
Looking back at her legs, she tugged at her left once more. It was then that she realised. Her leg was lying half way across the base of the window frame. Upon further inspection, she noticed the jagged shards of glass still littering the frame in random places.   
  
Biting her lip against the sudden warmth she felt blossoming around her leg, she thought about Serena. As a doctor, she knew she shouldn’t move without help encase the shard moved and caused more damage. As a rational human being, she knew no one would be coming to help her anytime soon and she needed to get to Serena now.   
  
Bracing herself, she placed her hands flat against the floor and pushed herself up, her weak muscles faltering with the effort. When she’d got herself up far enough, she once again tugged at her left leg. In her line of work, she couldn’t afford to be squeamish, but she couldn’t deny the bile that rose in her throat at the sucking noise her punctured flesh made as it left the glass shard. Swallowing hard, she pushed herself back onto her toes.

Her head felt light, the corridor around her blurring as it spun. Despite the adrenaline coursing through her, she felt her eye lids droop. A moment of panic over took her as she recognised the symptoms. She was going to faint.

“N…o I c-can’t” She murmured as she pulled herself up to stand using the wall as an aid. Through the hazy fog of her mind, her eyes sought out Serena. “s-s-S’rena… I’m coming”

With a heaviness to her limbs that defied any weight she’d ever lifted, she moved her legs, first her right and then her left. Her vision suddenly spiked and she cried out as white hot pain erupted in her left leg and shot up her spine. As her vision began to blacken once more, she realised somewhere in the back of her mind that she was on her knees, face to the floor.

Her eyes began to water and her mind fogged over. It would be so easy to let go, to just drift into unconsciousness. The rest that awaited her seemed infinitely more seductive than holding on with her bloodied fingernails to this existence.

The heavy black smog creeped further into her vision, the light all but disappearing into a mere pin head of white in her vision. Powerless against the oncoming collapse of her reality, she simply lay there and allowed what may to wash over her. The room was spinning, she didn’t need to physically see it, she felt it. She vaguely registered that she wasn’t moving, yet she felt the world rotate around her, almost feeling the velocity blow a delicate breeze on her face.

With her conscious thoughts smothered by the impending darkness, her only wish was that her body would just give up. If she didn’t pass out soon, she was going to throw up.

Her body, however, had other ideas.   
  
A crushing weight settled on her back and pushed her further into the filthy surface below her. Her breaths came in gasps as pain tore through the haze and erupted behind her eyes. Suddenly the light was too bright as it knifed at her vision through the suddenly absent darkness.

And then she felt it. The force of the air cracking her spine as bombs blasted around her and pinned her to the ground. Gasping in the acrid atmosphere, she forced the burning joints in her arms to fold in front of her so she could lift her head.

Confusion brought tears to her eyes as she took in the blazing flames all around her. Everything was on fire. The buildings, the cars… a war zone. She was in a war zone. She tried calling out, desperate for someone to help her, but her throat was so dry. It would seem the only moisture in the air were the salty tears trailing down her cheeks.

Coughing against the smoke, she buried her face in her desert camo clad arms for a moment. With sweat pouring down her face, she raised her head once more, the ache damn near unbearable as she surveyed the terrain around her. She’d barely had the chance to ask how she’d gotten there when her eyes landed on a prone brunette not 5 meters in front of her.

‘Serena’ her mind screamed ‘Serena got hurt.  Serena needs help. Help is my job. Helping Serena is my purpose’

With gritted teeth, she dragged herself along the dirt, one arm in front of the other. Closing her eyes tight she struggled on despite the hazards, despite her non- functioning legs, despite the fact that her helmet felt too small and was squeezing her skull.

‘Helping Serena is my purpose’ her mind repeated, completely unaware of the red trail she was leaving behind her as she crawled on her belly towards Serena. The only acknowledgement she made to the fact that her life essence was leaving her body was to push the heavy drowsiness to the back of her mind as it once again crept in.

“Serena” she rasped breathlessly as she reached Serena’s side “Serena can you hear me?” she called a little clearer. Hands flew out instinctively to feel for a pulse.  
  
“YOU BITCH!” she heard a voice growl from behind her. With her fingers, still on Serena’s pulse point, Bernie swung her head around to look over her shoulder, an act that cause her vision to blur in and out of focus. “DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’VE DONE?!”   
  
Like an elastic band, her vision pinged back to reality with the feel of the small contraction at her finger tips. Shaking her head slightly, she took in her fingers at Serena’s throat. “What the fuck just happened?” she muttered.

With blood rushing in her ears and blackness once again creeping into her vision, she couldn’t be sure… but she almost thought she could hear wailing… sirens. Where were they? Were they at the hospital?   
  
“Looks like none of us are getting out of this one alive” Said the gruff voice behind her. Swinging her head once more, she looked over her shoulder to see Simon walking towards them. “Tell me, Major, what do you think will reach you first?” Blue lights lit up his frame as he cocked the gun in his hand “Them… or my bullets?”

No sooner had he raised the gun that Bernie flung her body over Serena’s. She had to protect her. He couldn’t hurt her. Too many people loved her… One of whom didn’t deserve to love her.

Bernie shut her eyes tight against the haze that once again took over. “I love you so much” she whispered into Serena’s hair. “I’m sorry”

Bang.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait (and the cliff hanger) but in the year I’ve been away, I’ve loved, lost, and decided to change careers. I’m a changed person but this story still has an ending and I WILL get it written. Thank you to everyone who poked and prodded me to get a move on though. On with the chapter x

“I’m sorry” came a delicate whisper, carried upon the slight breeze that whipped at the floaty material of her shirt. The smile dropped from Serena’s face and she turned away from the warmth of the sun to look in the direction the voice came from.   
  
“Bernie?” she questioned to the empty garden stretching out behind her.   
  
Bang.  
  
Serena jerked awake, her eyes wide and unfocused against the blue flashing lights around her. All her senses were in disarray. She tasted metal in her mouth, smelled the tang of iron and sweat, blood rushed in her ears and a loud thumping sound blocked out all else. God, she thought she was going to throw up.

With difficulty, Serena pulled a shaking hand up to cover her mouth, it was then that she registered a dull weight upon her, pushing her down into the floor. Instinct had her body shake and wiggle until the weight upon her slid off. Her blurred vision of flashing blue was then cut off as something fell into her line of sight. Blinking a few times, her eyes focussed on the unmistakable warmth of Bernie’s. For a moment, everything was silent and still and almost hazy as she mirrored the smile she found in those eyes.

Serenity filled the air. It was just her and Bernie. And oh… how Serena would love to simply lie here for eternity lost in those chocolate pools. Everything was soft and warm and filled with light. She could feel soft white cotton sheets beneath her and could almost hear the ocean breeze through a distant window. This right here, her and Bernie, was heaven.

And then reality came crashing down.

Sound flooded her world. She could hear shouting and the harsh, rhythmic beating of booted feet against tile. Her eyes left Bernie’s for a second to look beyond her, it was then that the light disappeared. The gloomy darkness set in like a plague, the world illuminated by the sickeningly yellow, buzzing fluorescent lights overhead.

Her eyes darted back to Bernie’s, the world becoming sharper and colder by the second, but Bernie’s eyes were no longer smiling back at her. Serena’s face paled at the sight that greeted her. With her eyes readjusted, the softness had left, leaving the image of a battered and bruised woman in its place.

Serena took in the sight of dirty blonde hair, glittering in the light with pickles of glass, plastered to woman she loved’s forehead and cheeks. There was bruising blossoming like delicate little poppies just under the matted hair on her cheek, almost a mirror image of her other cheek. Harsh handprints were forming along the column of her elegant neck and there was blood spattered and smeared over her face.

But it wasn’t the discolouration of her skin that caused her to panic. Tears sprung to her eyes as she gazed into the other woman’s unfocused and all too still eyes. The light had gone out in them. Serena called out her name but gained no response.

With blood rushing in her ears once more, she heard nothing more than her own strangled cries as she pushed herself up and shook Bernie in desperation to gain a reaction. Bernie, however, didn’t even draw breath. With blind panic locking out the rational medical side of her brain, she failed to notice others approach her until their hands joined her own on Bernie’s body.

“No! GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER YOU BASTARDS!” She screamed as she batted away their hands in an effort to save Bernie. It was then that she felt herself being pulled away from her by force. “NO! NO! STOP IT! DON’T HURT HER!” 

Fighting against the strong arms holding her, she watched in muted horror as the strangers ran their hands over Bernie’s body and formed a fist at her now exposed sternum. She could see their mouths moving, spouting out hasty orders, but she could hear nothing but her own laboured breathing echoing off the walls. She couldn’t lose Bernie. She couldn’t.

Serena’s eyes left Bernie’s glazed over ones momentarily as memories attacked her brain to remind her just where she was. Looking down Bernie’s body, she gasped when her eyes met the torn, blood soaked fabric of her jeans, glass still poking out from the open wounds. But where did she get the glass from?

It was then that her eyes picked up on the blood-stained floor surrounding her legs. Following the trail of red with her eyes, hysteria began to over load Serena’s brain as her eyes settled on the broken glass and men huddled over an unmoving body.

Struggling against her captor, her eyes darted back to Bernie. All rational thought had gone as Serena screamed incoherent words at the men. Thrashing against the strong arms, she threw her head back and forth, desperate to be released.

Suddenly, her view was blocked. Serena looked up, her vision fuzzy as she made out a man’s face. His mouth was moving but she couldn’t hear his words. He was in the way. She needed to get him out of the way. She couldn’t see Bernie!

Then a blinding light was shone in her eyes, her ability to close them hindered by a chunky thumb holding her lid open. Cowering away from the light, she began to scream and thrash once more. She needed to see Bernie. She had to stop these shadowy figures from hurting her! She had to save her!   
  
Tears ran down her cheeks, her jaw was cramping from crying out, but she continued to wrestle with the person holding her. Her screams were deafening and yet she couldn’t hear them, just the heavy silence until two words finally penetrated her existence.  
  
 “I’m sorry” echoed the faint, delicate voice.

Serena stopped struggling for a moment as she let the familiar voice wash over her. She barely felt the needle penetrate her skin, so focused was her mind on holding onto the echoes of Bernie’s voice in her head. As her body wound down and calmed, rational thought once again crawled its way back to her. Everything started to go hazy and the world began to spin as she struggled to keep her eye lids open. Just as the world started going black, she vaguely registered in the back of her mind that she’d been given a sedative.

And then stillness. Serena felt her knees collapse as her body was slowly lowered onto a soft surface. She almost felt like she was floating on water as the darkness engulfed her entire being.

Thump thump.

With the beating of her heart, she opened her eyes to the sound of voices echoing through her mind as though she were at the end of a long corridor.

“She’s arrested”

Turning her head to the side, she could just make out the halo of gold strands strewn on the floor mere meters from her before the world went dark once again.

Thump thump.

With the beating of her heart echoing in her ears, she blinkingly opened her eyes against the glare of the overhead lights of the ambulance as she faintly registered the sound of sirens somewhere in the background.

“It’s ok, Ms Campbell… you’re safe now”

She closed her eyes again.  
  
“I don’t think she can hear you, mate.”  
  
Darkness.

Thump thump.

With the beating of her heart, she became aware of the feeling of being in motion stop.

“Right mate, you go first”

“What do you think will happen to Wolfe?”

“Dunno mate. If she survives the trip back, her life won’t be worth living anyway”

She then felt the surface she was laying on begin to move once more.

Then nothing.

Thump thump.

With the beating of her heart, she gingerly opened her eyes a crack against the light blinding her eyes.

“Female. 50s. Head injury. When we arrived on scene, the patient became frantic and bit her tongue. Sedative administered on scene”

“Serena?”

“Oh my god it’s Serena!”

Familiar voices… Raf? Morven? Where am I?

“Right folks, this is not a drill! I want her checked over and sent for a CT scan asap!”

“I’ll ring up for an emergency slot and then let Elinor know she’s been found”

Rick?

She opened her mouth to try and voice her questions but no noise came out. She tried opening her eyes wider, but the tiredness just made her want to give in.

“Bring her over here”

“Right, on three. Ready?” There was a brief pause “Three” And then Serena felt herself being slid onto another surface. She was becoming aware enough to realise she was most likely in the trauma bay. But why?

“Right we’ll leave you to it” said a retreating voice as she felt hands on her.

“Wait!” called the voice she recognised wholeheartedly as the worried tones of Morven “We received a trauma call for two patients… did you find Bernie too?” she whispered in hushed tones, but Serena still heard it. Bernie? What happened to Bernie?

“Yeah. She was in a bad way when we’d gotten to them” he said almost carelessly.

“No” it was barely audible, but the broken whisper carried on the air. Bernie… What happened to Bernie?! Serena felt utterly useless. Her mind was too hazy, she felt like a bystander in a conversation where no one could hear her talk

“I wouldn’t wish harm on anyone, but it’s no less than exactly what she deserves for what she’s done”   
  
There was a pregnant pause, even the barely there Serena felt the room turn cold. “She didn’t do it” came the seething voice of Morven. “She wouldn’t!”

“Let’s not do this here, we need to take care of Serena and you need to get on and do your job” came the brusque tones of Raf.

Bernie. What happened? Where’s Bernie?! As Serena became more aware, her mind raced.  Adrenaline rushed through her body as her memory began to return.

Thump thump

“Oh my god…” Morvens voice trailed off as the paramedic began to spout off information.

“Female. 50s. Found unconscious at scene. Multiple injuries to her face, torso, arms and legs. Serious glass puncture wounds to the left leg. She’s lost a lot of blood and arrested on scene and then again in the ambulance…”

His words faded into nothingness as Serena’s mind began to scream. BERNIE! Her leg! All that blood! Images flashed in her mind’s eye of Bernie’s broken body lying in a pool of her own blood.

“mmmf…’ern..ie”

“It’s ok, Ms Campbell. You’re safe now” came a woman’s soothing tone.

“mmm…vvvfernie” Serena slurred.

“Ms Campbell, you’re going to be okay. I’m just checking you over and then we’re going to send you for a CT. Do you feel any pain?” she spoke calmly, despite the multiple people behind her speaking over each other.

“There’s no time to wait. We have no choice, were gonna have to operate here” came a male voice from somewhere “we need to stop her from bleeding out”

Serena fought the lingering haze and cracked one eye open, the other quickly following her brain began to register the frantic beeping and shuffling in the room. “vvvfernie?”

“It’s okay Ms Campbell. She’s in good hands, but I need you to focus on my questions, Ms Campbell. Do you know where you are right now?”

“vernie” mumbled Serena as she attempted to push herself to sit up straight. Why did her head feel so heavy?

“No Ms Campbell, we need you to lie down for us” came another calm voice but Serena ignored it, instead twisting her body back and forth to try and get a better view of the still body surrounded by ever moving trauma scrubs. 

With hands trying to coax her into a more comfortable position, she twisted her body once more just in time to catch a glimpse of Bernie’s discoloured face framed by a bright orange neck brace as Lou moved out of the way to grab a scalpel.

“VERNIE!” Serena cried, her tongue feeling floppy and sore in her mouth as she witnessed movement on Bernie’s face.

“BP is raising” came the panicked croak of Morven as the beeping of the machine beside her sped up.  
  
“She’s waking up” In that moment, Serena wasn’t sure who exactly said the words, all she could focus on was the small muffled moan as Bernie began to shift on the bed.

“VERNIE!” cried Serena once more, her mind racing and her body struggling against hands suddenly on her shoulders trying to hold her in place.   
  
And then, just as abruptly, everything stopped. And all Serena could hear were the bells ringing through her ears as the world shook around her.

In painfully slow motion, Serena watched in silence as Bernie’s eyes snapped wide open, immediately springing to the scalpel still held in Lou’s hand. In one breath, Bernie used one hand to push Lou away and the other to grab the scalpel from her loosened grip. She then pulled herself free from the neck brace and wires attached to her and leapt from the bed, seemingly oblivious to the blood soaking through the bandages on her legs, and began edging her way away from the other people in the room, scalpel raised in front of her as a warning.

Serena remained motionless, eyes focused on Bernie’s back, as the scrubbed men and women backed away from the blonde. Their mouths moved but the ringing was too loud for her to hear what they were saying.

Bernie, one hand clutching her head, the other shaking slightly with the weapon in her grip, began to scream and shout but Serena couldn’t make out the words over that blasted ringing, she could almost swear though that she heard her own name upon Bernie’s lips.   
  
“TURN IT OFF!!!” came the angered plea of Bernie, her voice finally breaking through the wall of high pitched whining. Serena vaguely registered a scrubbed body scrambling towards what she now realised was the heart rate monitor. Within seconds, the ringing in her ears was gone.

The silence, however, wasn’t meant to last.

Serena looked to Rick as he approached the now frantic woman “Bernie” he said soothingly as he held his hands out in peace “you need to give me the scalpel and let us help you”  
  
“Serena, where is Serena?” Bernie began to mutter as though she didn’t even see or hear Rick. Serena could hear the tears forming in the other woman’s eyes by the waver in her voice alone. Though fear was an emotion she’d seldom seen in her co-lead, she knew. She knew in her heart that Bernie was terrified.  
  
“Serena is safe, but you need to let us help you” When he received no response from Bernie, he took one last step forward. Bernie flinched and held the scalpel out in warning to Rick. Anger flared deep within Bernie. The face staring back at her wasn’t that of a concerned Rick Griffin, it was the face of a grinning Simon.   
  
“Stay back! STAY BACK YOU BASTARD!” Bernie’s eyes were wild with contempt “I want to know where Serena is” her voice now threateningly low.  
  
“Bernie…” began Rick as his eyes dropped to the ever-reddening gauze wrapped around the glass still protruding from Bernie’s leg.

“NO!” she yelled as she lunged clumsily at Rick with the knife. Rick jumped back, his old boxing instinct kicking in, narrowly avoiding the sharp blade. He gazed into Bernie’s eyes and found a stranger staring back at him. This wasn’t the Bernie he knew, the Bernie he knew wouldn’t attack a colleague… or perhaps the rumours were true about the nature of her and Serena’s disappearance. His eyes flicked to Serena just over Bernie’s shoulder. With dread building, his face momentarily paled as he brought his eyes back to Bernie. How could they have been so stupid as to bring them _both_ here.  “Now you tell me…” Bernie began her face hardened “where she is or I swear to GOD I won’t miss a second time!”

Fearing what Bernie might do, Serena leapt from the bed behind Bernie, ignoring the initial wooziness upon landing, and held out her hands in surrender to Bernie.

“WHERE IS SERENA! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH HER YOU BASTARDS?!”

“Vernie…” came the meek voice of Serena “Vernie, a’m here…”

Bernie’s attention snapped to Serena, her head turned in a grotesque angle as she continued to hold the knife in a defensive stance. Serena gasped and visibly flinched as Bernie’s wide eyes settled on her. Her pupils were so blown; Serena would swear she was taken over by some sort of demon. ‘They drugged her again!’ Screamed Serena’s mind in panic.

“Serena” Bernie breathed, her voice little more than a desperate whisper.

Serena moved to Bernie’s side, taking in the torn shirt hanging open and the trembling muscles beneath, littered with angry, blistering cuts and glistening with a sheen of sweat. ‘She has a fever’ she mentally noted, taking in the colour on her chest and cheeks, a stark contrast to the rest of her waxy pale skin

Rick took a step forward, his hand held out should he need to defend himself “Serena” he said glancing at Serena before bringing his gaze back to Bernie “its ok, Serena, just back away slowly”   
  
Bernie, alerted to his presence, turned her head to face him so quick Rick himself felt like he’d been struck with whiplash. At the wild look in Bernie’s eyes, he stopped moving and took a deep breath.

“Bernie, put the scalpel down. You don’t want to hurt anyone” Apart of Bernie screamed in the back of her mind to stop this madness, that this was Rick not Simon… but she could feel Serena’s presence. She had to keep her safe and that was enough for her eyes to fool her into believing it wasn’t her friend confronting her “Let Serena go”

Startled out of her jumbled thoughts by Ricks firm voice, she visibly flinched. “NO!” she spat at him before lunging at Serena.   
  
Serena was vaguely aware of gasps and shouts echoing through the room when a sudden dizziness over whelmed her as a hand clamped around her wrist. A feeling of nausea overcame her as she felt herself stop spinning and the hand let go. When she finally opened her eyes, it took a few moments to focus on the stunned and horrified faces just over Bernie’s shoulder. Her eyes narrowed in on Rick when she registered his movement. As he took a step forward, Bernie took a step back, throwing her arm out as if to block anyone who tried to get to Serena.   
  
“Bernie please, let Serena go”  
  
“No” she replied.  
  
“W’ick, you ‘ont un’er’hand” said Serena with as strong a voice as she could muster.   
  
“Serena, please. Everything is going to be ok” he said before turning back to Bernie. “Bernie” he said calmly, still all too aware of the knife pointed directly at him “Don’t be stupid. Let her go”   
  
“NO!” Serena flinched and Bernie clinched her free hand into a fist. Serena drew her eyes up from Bernie’s fist to Rick. She had to make him understand before Bernie did something she’d regret.

“W’ick s’es not-”  
  
“Its ok Serena” He cut in impatiently “we’re going get you out of there” he then took another step forward.  
  
“No W’ick!”

“Stop right there” The knife in Bernie’s hand was shaking violently now. “you’re going to listen to me.” Rick stood still, mere meters from Bernie “you’re going to step aside and you’re going to let us leave”  
  
“Bernie, I can’t do that. You’re both inj-”  
  
“SHUT UP!” screamed Bernie, her mind struggling to break free from the suffocating thoughts running through her mind.   
  
“Bernie!” Yelled Rick in frustration. Bernie flinched and pushed back at Serena as if Rick would suddenly lunge forward to hurt the brunette.   
  
“Vernie” came the meek voice behind her “you ‘eed help”   
  
Bernie began to tremble like it was getting harder to breathe. Rick looked into Bernie’s eyes and watched as tears began to form there. Bernie took in a shuddering breath “I won’t let you hurt her” the words spoken were barely a whisper, the blondes voice thick emotion as tears finally rolled down her cheeks.

Rick’s brows furrowed and for the second time, a glimmer of doubt burrowed its way into his mind. “Vernie” Serena spoke once more “’s not you, ‘s it?” Bernie didn’t respond, her shoulders merely shaking with the effort of trying to hold back tears. If it were at all possible, Rick’s eyebrows knitted together even more in confusion.

It was at that very moment that security slid into the room behind Rick, hands held up in a sign of peace. They began to speak, voices talking over each other… so many voices. Bernie blinked against the wall of noise, her breathing getting heavier as all sound turned to suffocating static within her mind. Her eyes darted from face to blurry face as her skin began to burn all over, her nervous system fizzing with dread. Whatever she did, she couldn’t let them hurt Serena.   
  
Serena observed Bernie from behind. She’d given up trying to talk to the people in front of Bernie, she needed to get through to the actual woman “Vernie” she whispered. Nothing. “Vernie” she spoke once more, louder this time, but still Bernie didn’t respond. Judging from her state of freeze and shaking, even with her hazy mind, Serena knew the woman was mid panic attack.           

“Vernie” she tried once more. With no response, Serena looked down to see Bernie’s free hand still balled in its fist, her knuckles white with pressure. Serena Sighed and slowly slipped a warm hand around the cold sweaty fist.   
  
Bernie physically flinched and for a moment… and then everything became still. There was no noise, her chest felt lighter and a gentler warmth began to seep into her skin. Looking away from the silent faces still talking at her, she momentarily looked down at the hand so delicately clutching her own before looking back to the people in front of her.

Confusion clouded her senses for a moment before she realised that the arm out-stretched before her was in fact her own and the shiny object in her grasp was a knife. She gasped and dropped the scalpel. Her eyes, wide with shock, met those of Ricks as the metal clattered to the floor.

“R-Rick… I’m so sorry” she said with a shaking voice as security rushed at her, her hand still held weakly by Serena’s. “Rick” Bernie pleaded in panic as darkness edged in on her periphery. Bernie, unaware she was still holding Serena’s hand, took steps towards the man  in a bid to explain before the darkness swallowed her whole. It was now, as her mind hazed over and her vision danced, that she realised she was cold. Her stomach churned violently as the sound in the room swirled and warped in her ears, giving her a feeling of claustrophobia and panic.  Her last thoughts were of forgiveness as her eyes closed on the vision of Rick lurching forward to catch her as the ground rose up to meet her.

 


End file.
